Lovely Sympathy
by ForTheLoveOfNargles
Summary: After the war, Hermione is going through an extremely difficult break up with Ron and Snape is stuck in a rut. Their only choice is to find comfort in eachother, but that isn't always as simple as it seems. Disregards Snape's death. Evil Ron.
1. Felix Felicitus

**Felix Felicitus**

Severus Snape was first and foremost a teacher. After the war was over, that's all he was. The sudden withdrawal of the huge responsibility he had been given in the lead up to the war meant that not only was he bored, but he was also lonely. He had resigned from his post as head teacher. Even though the children now knew his part in the downfall of Voldemort all too well, they still found it difficult to trust him, especially _the Golden Trio, _who hadn't so much as looked at him since they had returned to Hogwarts to complete their final year, except Harry, who was obliged to mutter his thanks in passing.

You couldn't so much say that the war had changed Severus, more that the termination meant that he could now be himself. He, like the majority of the wizarding world, had lost too much, and even the guarantee of increased safety could not change that.

He found himself going through the motions, eating, teaching, marking, reading, sleeping, and then waking up the next morning and repeating his routine again and again for weeks and months, but never putting any soul into it.

He was reflecting on this while his seventh years completed their liquid luck potions. Felix Felicitus was a very tricky potion to master, which explains why he was astonished as Hermione Granger approached him, having finished the potion quicker than he had anticipated.

"Sir, I think I am finished."

His dark, hooded eyes slowly looked up from his scratched wooden desk. Her hair was tangled, her face was covered in a thin layer of sweat and her clothes were a mess, half of her shirt had come loose from its original position, tucked firmly into her skirt, and her breath was slightly ragged. The potion had been a hard one but she was almost positive that she had got it absolutely correct, the only nagging fear she had was that Professor Slughorn had stated, when introducing it to the class only two years ago, that it was "disastrous to get wrong". It had taken six months to brew, and many of her classmates had missed out a step, or made a slight error, resulting in the necessity to start again, but Hermione, being methodical and bordering on obsessive compulsive, had not made a single error along the way. Now, however, at the last minute, she was terrified of the prospect of it being wrong.

"You _think_?"

He had said this in a voice that would have previously terrified the child, but with the war had gone his terrifying authority. He tried to catch Hermione's eye as she nodded, but she refused.

"Give it here."

He held out his hand and she passed him the potion, careful not to spill a drop. Once it was in his hand, he immediately brought it to his lips.

"No, professor, don't, what if it's not right..."

She looked flustered and he allowed a slight smile before taking a sip of the potion, ten hours luck worth. Nothing happened for a moment, and the whole class went silent, turning to look at their professor, who had taken a huge and unnecessary risk for no apparent reason.

Then, after a few seconds, he noticed the effects of Felix Felicitus, he felt as if he could do anything, but at the moment felt a huge pull towards Headmistress McGonagall's office.

He was slightly disappointed that the potion _hadn't _been wrong, surely that would have been easier, to die on the spot, to quit this dreadful excuse for a life, but of course he could not expect Hermione of all people to make a mistake.

He heard her sigh of relief as she realised her potion had been successful, then the cheering as the class, a few minutes slower than her, realised also, but he didn't care about that.

"The insufferable know it all gets it right again, congratulations Miss Granger, ten points to Gryffindor."

The last part had to be forced out of his mouth, old habits die hard.

"Pack away, the bell will be going in a few minutes, and try not to break anything."

He said in a condescending tone before rising out of his chair and sweeping from the room, his cloak billowing behind him.

Snape knew before he entered Minerva's office that she wouldn't be there, she was teaching still as no replacement for her had been found, but he still had an overwhelming urge to go there regardless.

He entered like he always had, with a mask of confidence and an air of authority, but then when it was confirmed that the room was empty, he let his shoulders hunch and his face relax, the relief was almost unbearable. He let a slight smile play on his lips at the realisation that he had been pretending for too long.

"You should smile more often, Severus, it suits you."

He jumped as the old headmaster spoke. Dumbledore was rarely available there as he preferred to travel between paintings so Severus had given up trying. Snape had been affected much more by Dumbledore's death than he let on, it had almost made him give up his job, both as a teacher and a spy, but Dumbledore wouldn't have wanted that, he had told him himself.

"Albus, do you want to give me a heart attack?"

Dumbledore didn't answer, just laughed slightly.

"Someone's had some liquid luck."

"I was simply testing a student's capability in Potion making."

"How did they do?"

Severus sighed, but this conversation felt right, so he simply answered the question.

"Exceptionally well."

Dumbledore smiled with a twinkle in his eye, Snape knew that smile, he was up to something.

"Hermione Granger, I presume?"

Snape's eyes widened as he looked at the man who always seemed to know everything.

"How did you know?"

Albus once again ignored the question.

"Watch out for Hermione, she's... important."

Before Severus could ask one of the many questions in his mind, Albus was gone.

"Come back here, you coward!"

Snape growled at the painting, but it did no use. Maybe the potion wasn't working after all.

Hermione had walked out of the classroom, perplexed about Professor Snape's sudden departure.

"Where do you think he's going?"

She asked Harry and Ron as they appeared either side of her.

"Don't know, don't care, that old git was probably going to..."

Hermione interrupted him, she didn't want to hear what bizarre and untrue stories Ron had come up with to explain Professor Snape leaving the classroom a few minutes early.

"Leave him alone, Ronald, without him we'd probably all be dead."

"Calm it, 'Mione, I was only joking."

He draped his arm around her shoulder and she shook it off, he still hadn't got used to the fact that they weren't going out any more, she had told him their relationship wasn't going to work shortly after the downfall of Voldemort. She had said this was due to the fact that she had changed with the release of pressure, but really he was too self obsessed and dim-witted for someone like her to ever love. Ron persisted, trying for her hand this time, but she shoved him slightly with her shoulder, held her books closer to her chest, and turned the corner towards her next lesson, smashing directly into Professor Snape's chest.

"I'm so sorry, sir, I wasn't looking where I was going."

Instead of saying something sarcastic or rude, as she had expected, he grabbed her arm and dragged her in to the nearest classroom, which was luckily empty.

"Miss Granger, do you know what you are planning to do when you finish this year of Hogwarts?"

She had thought about it, maybe too much, but he wasn't exactly the person she wanted to talk to about this.  
"No, sir, not much anyway."

"Even though I know that cannot be true, I will let this one slide. Miss Granger, have you ever thought about going in to teaching? Before you answer, can I just inform you as to why I am asking. You see, the Headmistress has given me permission to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts as long as I find a replacement for myself, and your display in today's lesson just reinforced my view that you would be an excellent choice."  
Also, it would be so much easier to find out what Dumbledore had meant about watching out for her if he obeyed. Hermione looked flustered, before exclaiming that she would have to think about it and escaping.


	2. Truth Will Out

**Truth will out**

"He asked you what?"

Harry looked absolutely astonished. She knew he wouldn't be happy about Professor Snape's offer, but she had at least expected him to believe her.

"To be Potions teacher. You needn't look so gobsmacked, Harry."

"Why do you think McGonagall would let Snape be Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher so suddenly? He's been asking for years."

She sighed.

"How am I supposed to know? Harry, are you going to say anything helpful or should I just go?"

He put his arms around her shoulder and squeezed her gently.

"Are you alright Hermione, is this about Ron?"

"No this is not about Ron!"

He looked at her with his eyebrows raised for a few moments before she caved.

"Alright, it is sort of about Ron. He just doesn't get it. I don't love him."

Harry smiled slightly and put his other arm around her as well, pulling her into his chest.

"He understands more than you think, he's just having a hard time dealing with not being with you anymore."

She sighed and let a silent tear drop down her face and on to his school shirt.

"I wish..."

Harry lifted her head from his chest and put his finger to her lips.

"Don't wish, it only hurts more when it doesn't come true."

Ginny came into the common room and looked away from Harry and Hermione guiltily. When the war had ended, Harry had a lot to do to pick up the pieces, he had to help defeat the remaining death eaters, help battle against malevolent rumours in the Prophet, and most importantly sort himself and his friends out. Ginny, bored of waiting for him to be free, found her solace in Dean Thomas and was immediately caught by Harry. He had been gloomy for the last few months but nothing compared to Hermione, who had spent years thinking she loved their red haired friend, only to find out that she loved the _idea _of him more than his personality itself, which was too fiery and angry for her to cope with. The end to their relationship had been a violent one as both tried to get Harry on their side. The fights and arguments got them in more trouble than it was worth with various teachers only to end up back where they had started, unable to understand each other. At least Harry and Ginny's break up had been clean cut and they had been able to move forward, Hermione and Ron were still stuck in the past, trying to find a way to be together so much but not fall back into what they had been before.

"That's not true. Sometimes wishes are all you have."

She let her head fall back onto his chest and he stroked her tangled brown hair.

"Then I have nothing."

Hermione accepted Snape's request shortly after.

Just because Professor Snape had chosen Hermione Granger as his replacement, did not mean he would be going easy on her from now on, in fact, he was making her work even harder. Whilst the rest of the class was catching up with her with the liquid luck, he set her a list of assignments to challenge her, including potions such as Verita Serum and Mandrake Draught in large quantities. She seemed to be coping perfectly well, until one day she came in to class five minutes late, which would normally be a major thing for Miss Granger but she seemed unfazed. She wandered over to her chair next to Harry Potter, who turned and gave her a searching look but she continued to stare forwards, her eyes clouding over as he watched. Ronald Weasley still hadn't arrived and Severus couldn't help but wonder if her state was due to him, but that wasn't his problem as a teacher, and a cruel one at that.

"Detention, Miss Granger, after class."

She opened her mouth to reply, but then closed it again and simply nodded, realising her explanation wasn't one she wished to share with the class.

The lesson went quickly, she had plenty to do as she was in the final stages of her second Mandrake Draught and this distracted her from what was really going on. When the lesson ended, she sunk down into her seat and smiled up at Harry slightly as he patted her on the shoulder.

"See you in the Hall."

She nodded, but doubted Snape would let her out early enough to have lunch. Once the entire class had filed out and the door gave a resounding thud, Snape turned to look at his student. Her eyes stayed on the worn wooden desk.

"You know that I cannot allow any student to enter the class late without explanation."

She nodded slightly, and he waited a few minutes but she made no move to reply.

"Miss Granger, did you not hear me, I need you to explain your late arrival."

She looked up for a moment and he tried to catch her gaze, but she refused and immediately looked back down. He stepped closer, looking down on her now.

"Hermione, I need you to tell me what's happening."

This forced her to look up, he had called her Hermione, he never called her Hermione. Once she had looked into his eyes, she couldn't drag them away, they were impossibly dark and hypnotic.

"Now."

His voice droned and she finally surrendered.

"Ron... wanted to talk to me."

"Talk, Miss Granger? Don't forget you made enough Verita Serum to make it quite easy for to slip you a few drops in your morning pumpkin juice and no one will be any the wiser."

"It started off with him wanting to talk."

Severus urged her on, fearing what she would say next but also not able to wait to hear it.

"Then..."

"He got violent."

Severus broke their gaze and turned on his heel, walking back towards the board and placing his palms on his desk.

_Take deep breaths, Severus, you don't care about anyone but yourself, remember, it was only a matter of time before the Golden Trio fell apart, it's not an issue of yours._

"Sir? Maybe I should just go..."

He collected his features into their ordinary, stern look and approached her again.

"That won't be necessary, Miss Granger, perhaps if you told me what he did to you, I may be able to help."

He hoped for nothing too bad, even he who had just told himself he cared about no one could not deal with a broken limb or even worse, rape. Luckily, her answer was at least not that bad, but still worse than he had imagined.

She lifted her shirt slightly and beneath it was a large white bandage. He could already see the blood seeping through.

"Take it off Miss Granger."

She knew better than to disobey him when his voice was this stern. She carefully unwrapped the bandage, gasping a couple of times when the pain was especially bad. This revealed the three long cuts that Ron had made that morning with a pocket blade when she had refused him once more. She, in the despair of the moment, had forgotten the spell to heal said cuts so had managed to find a bandage and wrap it up merely minutes before the lesson had started. It had taken her longer than anticipated to get to the lesson as the loss of blood and sheer pain of the cuts had rendered her much slower than normal. Snape hadn't recognised the pain in her face as he was so used to seeing it, but now he noticed it all too well. Without another word, Severus cleaned up her cuts with a well placed Tergeo and healed them with the spell he had previously used to heal Draco Malfoy's cuts whilst under the Sectumsepra curse, Snape's own spell, Vulnera Sanentur. He hated that it had come to this, the spell used to heal deep gashes, but that was not all that was on his mind at the moment. After seeing that Hermione was visibly feeling better, he sent her off to lunch with a simple wave of his hand and then floo'ed to McGonagall's office.

Headmistress McGonagall was just leaving for lunch when Snape arrived, but he delayed her plans greatly once repeating his encounter with Hermione Granger.

"Why, he must be called up immediately."

Minerva sent a house elf to retrieve him and whilst she was waiting, sunk down into her chair. She hadn't believed herself capable of this headmistress business in the first place, but now she was certain she was not able. What was she to do in this situation? Firstly she thought of calling his parents, but what if it wasn't true? She had always known Ron was fiery, but never violent, then again Hermione wouldn't lie. Harry was her next resort, but she was certain her first move should be to talk to Ron.

However, this didn't seem as simple as she had anticipated. The house elf returned with the message that Ron was nowhere to be seen, his things were gone also. Minerva immediately regretted letting security slide slightly after the downfall of Voldemort, under the affirmation that there was no evil to get into Hogwarts, she had never thought she would be stopping evil getting out.

After sending an alert out and making sure Ron was being looked for, Minerva called Hermione up to her office. Severus refused to leave, so she told him not to interrupt, Hermione was probably very fragile at the moment and she didn't need him sneaking in snide comments.

When Hermione entered the room she seemed jumpy. With nothing to do, she fiddled with the bottom of her shirt and when she could take it no longer, addressed her headmistress.

"Professor McGonagall, what's going on?"

Minerva turned to Snape but got no support there.

"It appears that Ronald Weasley has escaped from Hogwarts. After learning what happened earlier today, I send for him but he had collected up his belongings and ran away. Do you have any idea where he might be?"

"He _escaped?"_

McGonagall simply nodded.

"No, I'm sorry Professor, I have no idea where he would have gone, maybe the burrow, or Grimmauld Place?"

Snape, after a silent nod from Minerva, spoke in his droning voice.

"A message has been sent to Mr and Mrs Weasley and they are to arrive shortly, and as for Grimmauld Place, it is under constant surveillance and as of yet, no owl has been sent to signify a new arrival."

"Ron's parents are coming? You told them? Oh God, they're going to hate me, everyone's going to hate me, I knew I shouldn't have told you."

Severus strode over to her and within seconds had taken an almost too firm grip of her wrist.

"You dare blame yourself, any blame is to be settled firmly on that detestable Ronald Weasley."

Minerva cut in, her voice shrill and commanding, but it did no good.

"Professor Snape, let her go immediately, and using such language for any student is strictly unprofessional!"

"Professor, let me go, please."

Finally Severus loosened his grip just as Mr and Mrs Weasley floo'ed into the room accompanied by a house elf. Mrs Weasley immediately approached Hermione, stepping so close that Hermione could feel the woman's furious breath on her face.

"Show me."

Before Hermione could make a move, Severus pulled Hermione's top up so the scars were visible, earning a disapproving glance from McGonagall.

"I did perform Vulnera Sanentur on the cuts, but they were too deep to fully heal. Now you see what your son has done would you kindly step away from Miss Granger before I am forced to take action."

However, instead of stepping away, Mrs Weasley, her face softening and tears forming in her eyes, leant in to embrace Hermione. Snape jerked for a second, thinking it was an attack, then relaxed ever so slightly when he realised it was not.

"Oh my, Hermione I am so sorry, I didn't think Ron was capable of this. When I get my hands on him..."

Snape cut in here, the promise the Minerva not to interrupt completely forgotten now.

"I'm afraid it might not be as simple as that. Your son, after performing such an atrocious act, packed his things up and left. We are in the process of looking for him but I'm assuming your house is ruled out now."

Mrs Weasley pulled back and clutched her hand to her chest.

"Ron is missing?"

"Missing would be a stretch as he disappeared of his own will, but yes, your son has run away."

Mrs Weasley collapsed to the floor and Mr Weasley knelt beside her, his hand on her back. Snape, seeing that Hermione was struggling watching this, put his hand on the small of her back and lightly guided her out of the room. Once outside, he sent a house elf to bring Harry whilst Hermione leant against the wall and sunk down to the floor. Severus wasn't one for comforting, he found situations like this impossible and so avoided them most of the time, but right now that didn't seem like an option.

"Miss Granger, Potter is on his way, do you require anything?"

She looked up slightly, her tear filled eyes staring at him, confused, and he couldn't help but feel uncomfortable under her gaze.

"You needn't look so surprised."

She let her head fall down onto her knees again and mumbled into them.

"I require nothing, professor, do not feel that you have to stay on account of me."

Still, he made no move to leave until Potter arrived, at which time he returned to the headmistress' office, he didn't need to see the display of anger and aggression the infamously volatile Potter was likely to give.

Harry Potter knelt down next to his friend and placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked up, surprised that anyone else was in the room, for she had no idea that Snape had waited with her this whole time. Harry placed his hand in her hair, then let her make the move to throw herself into his arms, which she did promptly. He held her chest to his shoulder as she sobbed, their legs tangled together and her tears soaking his jumper. He let her tell him what had happened in her own time, even though he was impatient to hear what had happened. Five minutes later, when her sobbing had calmed down, she brought her head back to face him, and told him what had happened. When speaking she noticed the rage filling up inside of his and once she had finished he jumped to his feet.

"I'm going to find him, and trust me Hermione, I am not returning him in a fit state."

Before Hermione could say another word, he had gone. She let her head fall back against the brick and blinked to try and stop herself from crying, but it did no use, the tears fell down her cheeks regardless of her attempts. Now she had no one.

She didn't notice Snape standing there watching her cry, and after a few minutes he left, not able to stand seeing her so upset but oblivious as to what to do about it.


	3. Up To Something

**Up to something**

Hermione went to class like normal the next day. Her OWLs were in a few weeks and she couldn't afford to miss lessons, even though she had permission from her headmistress.

After a double lesson of Defence Against the Dark Arts, for which she had McGonagall as a cover, who gave her concerned looks throughout the entire two hours, it was time for potions.

Seeing McGonagall's response, she was afraid of what Snape would be like, but she didn't get to find out because he wasn't in school, they had Professor Flitwick as a cover. When asked where their teacher was, he replied agitatedly.

"He has gone after Potter and Weasley. If you ask me, getting caught up in the middle of this is the stupidest thing he could do, Harry Potter is one of the most powerful wizards in the world, who knows what could happen."

Hermione jumped up from her seat and looked at Professor Flitwick for a split second before running out of the classroom, ignoring his orders to return this instant. He didn't follow her, assumedly the teachers had been warned that she would be very sensitive today, which made her slightly annoyed but grateful at that point in time.

She ran straight to McGonagall's classroom, not thinking about the fact that the headmistress probably had a lesson right now until she arrived at the open doorway and saw a group of second years in her class room. Minerva turned away from the board to address them and saw Hermione standing there, dithering on her feet, ready to turn around.

"Okay, copy what's on the board, I'll be back in a minute."

She strode out of the room and closed the door before concentrating on Hermione. There were tears welling up in the girls' eyes and McGonagall knew that she should have insisted that Hermione take at least one day off. However, when giving Hermione a questioning look, her answer was not what the professor expected.

"Professor Snape... did he really..."

She gulped.

"Did he really go after Harry?"

McGonagall's eyebrows went up and her mouth fell open slightly, but she forced her face to compose itself into a sympathetic yet stern look, which was harder than expected for the teacher.

"Yes, unfortunately Professor Snape took it upon himself to find the two escapees. He promised he would return after three days if they could not be found. Why?"

Hermione stuttered, unable to come up with a reason for the concern.

"Professor, do you mind if I take up that offer of a day off? I'm not feeling so good."

The headmistress nodded. She was not oblivious to the fact that Hermione hadn't answered the question but aware that there must be a reason for this so let it go.

"Take as long off as you need, Miss Granger."

"I just need the one day, professor, I'll be fine. Thank you."

Minerva watched Hermione walk away and felt her eyes tear up slightly. It was such a shame, she was so bright yet she always seemed to attract trouble, much like Mr Potter.

It was a week before Snape returned. McGonagall was not worried, she had known when setting a deadline that Snape would go beyond it and had secretly decided that after a fortnight, she would worry. Hermione, however, knowing nothing of his true character, felt terrified for his safety and so guilty for it being her fault he had gone at all. She could barely sleep and the concept of eating turned her stomach. She had no idea why she cared so much about someone who had always gone out of his way to be evil to her, but she put it down to the fact that this was her fault and it didn't matter who it was, being the blame for someone's death is never alright, not in her books anyway.

She was on her way back from the library at night when she came across him, wandering into the castle looking defeated. She approached him, but was unable to think of anything to say. She had to resist the urge to throw her arms around him, but he mistook her nervousness as eagerness to see if he had succeeded. He paused momentarily, then continued walking, not even turning around when he spoke to her.

"Miss Granger, the idiot boys are nowhere to be seen so you can stop dawdling."

She began running after him, but his stride was too long for her to keep up. She stopped, out of breath.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay."

He paused and turned his head slightly, one of his eyebrows raised, looking at her in the same manner as he had looked at Harry in their first year when Harry suspected him of being after the philosopher stone. Hermione now knew this accusation was wild, but she could tell the look meant he thought she was up to something.

Snape turned immediately and strode off in his usual manner, then, when arriving at the dungeons, certain that she could no longer see him, pushing his head against the cold stone, his hands either side of him. All he could see was the tears in Hermione's eyes when Ron and Harry left.

"Once again, you manage to fail yourself and everyone else, Severus, well done."

Snape wasn't in the Great Hall at breakfast.

Hermione couldn't help but worry slightly, however she pushed that anxiety away under the pretence that she didn't care. She pushed her food around her plate, but barely ate, then made her way to her first lesson, potions, slowly.

When she arrived, she was still ten minutes early. She took a deep breath when placing her hand on the door knob, then turned it slowly and opened the door silently. Sitting at his desk was her professor with his head in his hands. She turned to leave, but without so much as lifting his head, Snape addressed her.

"Take your seat, Miss Granger. I'm sure you will find something to occupy your time after arriving so ridiculously early to my lesson."

She sank down into her seat at the front of the class, but did not bring out a book or even her utensils for this lesson.

"Sir, I'm not mad at you for not finding them. The only reason I could ever find to be slightly annoyed at you is the recklessness of going after them in the first place."

He raised his head slightly and glared at her, his eyes piercing into her skin.

"You think I am incapable of looking after myself?"

She spluttered out her reply to this, not quite knowing what to think.

"No, sir, I just think it was stupid of you to go after them when you know full well they are going to fight it out between themselves one way or another. I do not condone it, but this isn't something that can be meddled in and will go away. Harry is just trying to be the hero, as always, you know he'd never seriously hurt anyone."

"_Stupid _of me?"

She raised her hand to her mouth, ready to take back what she said simply at the venomous tone in his voice.

"You have courage, Miss Granger, but I would choose my words more carefully if I were you."

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean..."

He raised his hand to stop her rambling.

"Sorry is for cowards. Now I suggest you take out your books, class starts in five minutes."

She removed her Potions book from her bag. Two minutes went by and still no one had arrived. Severus had placed his head back in his hands when a thought occurred to him. Something had been bugging him about her cuts, and he had worked it out.

"Miss Granger, I trust that your cuts are alright?"

She nodded slightly, her head still down examining her finger nails.

"A few scars but no pain."

"And the bruises?"

She looked up, startled.

"The..."

"I may be _stupid _sometimes, but I am at least observant. The bruises on your waist, shaped like a hand print, am I correct?"

Her mouth dropped slightly, but she had no time to answer as the first student in her class arrived. Neville Longbottom sat down, then realised uncomfortably that he had come in at the wrong time, noticing the silence all too well. He coughed uneasily, then picked up his bag to take out his books and promptly dropped it, the contents spilling out over the stone floor. Hermione leant down to help him pick everything up and Snape couldn't help but smirk slightly at this kindness. However, his smirk disappeared as she leant over to reach for a pencil that had rolled under her desk, exposing the dark brown finger marks tainting her pale skin.

When the floor was clear, Hermione stood up and returned to her seat as Snape attempted to look uninterested.

The class went by uneventfully, the two empty seats on either side of Hermione the only reminder that anything was amiss. The lesson ended too quickly for Hermione, who knew that Snape would want to talk to her. When the bell rang, she packed her bags quickly, but just as she reached the door, his voice rang throughout the classroom.

"Miss Granger, can I see you for a moment."

His voice left no room for disagreement so she simply sighed and returned to her seat. When the entire class had filed out and the door had slammed with a resounding thud, reminding her of the last time this had happened, just over a week ago, when things had started changing so drastically that she almost couldn't believe how much had happened. Snape approached her table, then motioned for her to stand with a simple flick of his wrist. He walked around her table so he stood beside her, and she wondered whether to turn, but he reached out and pulled her school top up slightly, his cold hand brushing momentarily against her skin and sending a shiver down her spine, which he ignored. The scars were more prominent than he remembered them, but he was more concentrated on the bruises. He prodded one slightly with the tip of his wand and her quick intake of breath showed him that she was in pain, despite telling him she was fine.

He approached his desk, pulled out a drawer and fiddled around in it until he found what he wanted. He approached Hermione once again and applied the thick yellow paste to her bruises. When he touched her, the skin of her stomach tingled slightly, and he wasn't oblivious to it either. Once he had finished, he dropped her shirt and turned away, walking back to his desk and motioning that she could go, but she didn't.

"There's something else."

Severus turned to her and strode over, his face inches from hers, and growled.

"Why do you persist to hide things from me?"

She looked shocked for a second, then stepped back, leaning against the desk behind her.

"Because I assumed you didn't care."

He placed his hands either side of her on the desk, their noses almost touching, then took a deep breath and turned away.

"You assumed wrong."

There was a moment's silence in which she considered whether to leave or not, then, thinking he was calm enough to speak again, Snape turned, keeping his distance from the girl who now seemed to be terrified.

"What else is wrong?"

She took a deep breath, considering whether to tell him but knowing he had enough Verita Serum to get it out of her anyway.

"Ron... used the crutiatus curse."


	4. Insufferable Know It All

Two chapters in one day, I am on a roll! (and also trying to avoid mock revision, yawn.) Hopefully this turns out alright, I'm worried that Snape's turning around too much, it's like a little Snape dance (which would be awesome btw). I'm sorry to anyone who loves Ron, but let's face it, he is a bit of a twat sometimes. So yeah, I spent most of today either writing or refreshing my email, because reviews and story alerts make me happy. Hint hint. I LOVE YOU

**Insufferable know-it-all**

She heard Snape's sharp intake of breath and the anger grow on his face. His teeth grinded as he attempted to keep himself together and, when all else failed, he turned back to his desk and began arranging everything on it, even though it was already tidy. He then put his hands on the desk and steadied his breathing, trying to forget what she had said, trying to convince himself that she was okay, that he hadn't succeeded in hurting her, but that was a lie also and they both knew it. Hermione hadn't been the same for quite a while, ever since the war had ended she had been distant and now he knew why. He wanted to ring that insolent boy's neck, he wanted to do to him what he had done to Hermione, but no, he had run like the coward he always had been, the less talented of the Golden Trio, the fiery red head that was always too sensitive for his own good.

"How many times?"

He asked her, and she murmured her answer just loud enough for him to hear.

"Just the once."

He turned his head slightly and looked her in the eyes, seeing the fear, and also the fact that she had just lied to him _again_. His eyes bored into her skin and she was forced to tell the truth.

"Four times. The first a week after the war had ended, after I finished with him, the latest that day that I came into class late."

"Why?"

Severus' voice broke slightly and he hated himself for that, looking back down at the worn wooden desk and telling himself that he didn't care for the thousandth time.

"You're asking the wrong person professor."

She turned and strode out of the classroom, pretending that he didn't hear his quiet whisper.

"That boy is dead."

After lunch, in which Hermione barely ate, McGonagall called the girl to her office. When Hermione entered, she saw Snape standing in the shadows taking in his surroundings and automatically knew what this was about and silently cursed Snape in her head. McGonagall looked at Miss Granger, eyes filled with worry for the girl's safety and also for the wizarding world, Ronald Weasley was more dangerous that she could have ever imagined.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

McGonagall's voice was full of sympathy, which annoyed Hermione, she didn't need sympathy, the headmistress should be angry.

"I was scared."

Hermione whispered through clenched teeth. Surely they could have figured this out on her own, she was missing Ancient Runes.

McGonagall ignored her insolence and continued.

"You know you can speak to me if you ever feel scared or worried about anything?"

Hermione nodded, although she knew she couldn't. McGonagall then motioned for her to sit down on the sofa in the middle of the room. The girl sat carefully on the armrest. The headmistress approached her and held her wand to Hermione's head.

"Do you mind if we see your memories?"

Hermione shook her head and felt a stinging sensation in the side of her head as McGonagall's wand removed the memory then her and Snape walked to the pensieve, Snape keeping to the shadows and not looking the girl in the eyes, afraid of her anger for some unknown reason. Before placing the memory in the glimmering liquid, Minerva turned to Hermione and the look on her face alone told her that the girl did not want to relive these memories. The two professors entered the pensieve cautiously and Hermione waited... and waited.

It was quite a few minutes before the professors returned. There was a look of disgust on both their faces but Snape's bordered on furious. He reached out a hand to stead himself as his other clenched into a fist. After a few minutes he stood tall and resolute.

"I'm going after him."

"No Severus, you can't! I'll call the ministry and they will send a search party, besides, I was hoping you would look after Miss Granger."

Both looked ready to protest, but Severus was first to find his words.

"Look after her? I will not _babysit _a detestable know it all rather than search for a boy who has used an _unforgivable curse_ against an innocent child."

"Do not talk of unforgivable curses as if you know nothing of them, or have you forgotten, Severus."

McGonagall took a step closer to him and Snape surprised Hermione by looked slightly nervous.

"Headmistress, I don't need looking after, Ron is gone and after all, we do not need to inconvenience Professor Snape by making him babysit such a detestable know it all."

McGonagall turned to her, noticing the sarcasm laced into Hermione's latter comment.

"What if he comes back? What if you are alone and he returns, can you bear to imagine what could happen?"

Hermione looked up at her headmistress and shook her head slightly, understanding how Snape had been so terrified.

"Professor Snape, you will escort Miss Granger to her next lesson and every day henceforth you will continue to take her to and from the common room after dark or at any time in which the corridors are likely to be empty. Do you understand?"

Both of them nodded, although neither liked the terms. McGonagall gestured for them to go and they exited the door. Hermione felt tears prick in her eyes but she blinked them away. The headmistress was right, what if Ron did find her, and what if she was alone?

They walked in silence, Hermione slightly behind Snape. He kept turned his head to see if she was still there, and she always was, almost running to keep up.

"Now do you see what you've done?"

Snape turned to looked at Hermione incredulously only for her to run straight into his chest. He placed his hands on her shoulders to push her away, but not before leaning down and snarling into her perfect face.

"_I _have not done anything, this is of your own making. If you had only told us earlier we would have been able to catch him before he even escaped. You keeping this secret has put the whole of the world in danger as there is now a boy on the loose who is quite capable of torturing his own girlfriend without so much as blinking."

He turned to walk away, but then noticed that she was not following him. He approached her again, slower this time, cautious as he saw her ready to boil over.

"One, I am _not _his girlfriend."

She counted off on her fingers.

"Two, he was using the crutiatus curse to _stop _me from telling how badly he was treating me. Three, he is not dangerous, he just has a quick temper, _I _am more dangerous that he is. Four,"

Snape held a finger to her lip to stop her talking, then quickly withdrew it as he felt the electricity run down from his fingertip to his heart. He thought she didn't notice, but she did.

"I do not doubt that you are more dangerous than he is."

Snape began walking again and this time she followed with a sigh.

After class, she went up to the library. She was so engrossed in her reading that when she looked up she was astonished to see that it was eight pm already. She had barely eaten all day, and her stomach grumbled unattractively.

Snape stepped out from the shadows of the library.

"Starving ourselves now, are we?"

She jumped slightly at the sound of his monotone voice, then settled back down, not wanting to show that she was afraid. Her fear was not something she wanted Snape to know about right now.

"Are you ready to go?"

She sighed and nodded, placing the book back on the shelf and picking up her school bag.

When they arrived at the staircase, Snape turned and addressed her.

"If you are hungry, I could get the house elves to take some food to you."

She looked exasperated.

"I don't agree with house elf enslavement."

Snape raised his eyebrows at her, but said nothing of her views, knowing full well that she was ready to snap if he did.

"I have some food in my quarters if you'd prefer?"

She paused momentarily, but her stomach chose that moment to grumble. He took that as a yes and took her upper arm, dragging her towards the dungeons and she thought, _what am I doing having dinner with Severus Snape, the former death eater who is constantly reminding me that I am an insufferable know it all? When did this become alright?_


	5. Crutiatus Curse

Thank you for any reviews or story alerts/favourites etc. they mean more than you can imagine. *Stops getting sappy*. The next chapter should be up soon, I have absolutely no idea though, I actually probably have less knowledge of what's going to happen next than you do. I have my mocks in two weeks, and a French writing exam and I haven't started revising so might be a bit slower updating. Also, I have ice skating at 6 in the morning tomorrow, then three drama essays and four sheets of questions for maths. *Looking for sympathy*. No but seriously, I LOVE YOU ALL. Sorry for the quick updates, I should really put them up slower to give me more time when I get writers block (which is likely to happen) three chapters in one day is not healthy. That is all. I am blatantly a rambler. Sorry.

**Crutiatus curse**

He murmured his password, 'candor arcane'*, and the door swung open. He stepped in immediately, then waited for her to follow him, which she did after a few moments of deliberation. He gestured for her to sit down and she obeyed, but not willingly. She hated being ordered around, she had gotten enough of that from Ron. Once she was seated, he walked over to a small kitchen space he had in the corner, giving her time to take in the surroundings as he clattered around, putting together some food for her.

His room was not what she had expected at all. The colour scheme was no surprise, black and green, but everything was so tidy and gleaming. There was little in the room but everything had a place, even the books seemed to be organised into alphabetical order. There were two doors, one to his bedroom and the other to his bathroom she assumed.

It surprised her that he was preparing food the muggle way, albeit the lazy muggle way. He put pasta in a saucepan and filled it with water, then placed it on the small stove and let it cook. It amused her seeing him confused over each piece of apparatus, having been accustomed to them before she was told she was a witch. When he turned away from the stove and put his hands on the counter behind him, she looked away, thinking he hadn't caught her, but he had. He took a deep breath before speaking, forcing himself to say the words he never said to anyone.

"I'm sorry, this isn't your fault."

Her head snapped round and she looked at him, her jaw dropping.

"Did Severus Snape just apologize?"

He smiled slightly.

"That's Professor Snape to you."

Then, with either perfect or terrible timing depending on how you looked at it, the water boiled over. Snape reached for a tea towel to dab at it and tried to work out the dials, not succeeding. Hermione sighed and stood up, walking over to the stove. She turned the heat off and took the saucepan off the heat then turned to her professor, smiling slightly. He looked a bit annoyed at her amusement.

"I am not used to muggle food preparation..."

She placed her finger on his lips to quieten him, but, unlike him in the corridor, wasn't wise enough to take it away when she felt the electricity. Her mouth opened slightly and she leant in, their bodies touching, her breath tickling his neck. She looked confused for a second and searched his eyes for any disgust at her being so close to him but found none. She rose onto her tiptoes to get closer and their lips were almost touching when he turned away. He placed his fingers on the bridge on his nose then strode away and slammed the door to his bedroom without so much as looking back. She put her fingers to her lips, thinking about what she had been about to do, and how she still wanted to.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she dropped the pasta into the bin, cleaned out the saucepan and placed it in the cupboard. As she left the room with tears welling up in her eyes, she looked momentarily to the door of his bedroom but it stayed firmly closed.

In the morning, she awoke with a splitting headache. She ignored her alarm and held her pillow to her head, trying to block out any light and sound. There was a soft knock at her door and she groaned as she stood, downed a vial of pepper up potion that was in her bedside table drawer and opened the door hesitantly. Snape stood there, holding a tray of food, attempting to look bored. She brushed her hair away from her eyes, groaning at the light he was letting in through the doorway, and suddenly noticed how little she was wearing. In a vest top and pyjama shorts, she was exactly dressed for an encounter with a professor, not even one she had almost kissed the night before. He smirked as she searched her dormitory, which he was surprised to notice was a complete mess, for a dressing gown. She settled for a large jumper that she was almost certain didn't belong to her, then reached over and took the food from Snape. She didn't know what to say.

"Thank you, Professor."

He nodded slightly.

"I couldn't have you skipping any more meals."

She searched his eyes for a reason why, but he refused to make eye contact and after a few moments she gave up.

"I can make my own way to first lesson."

She stated, realising that he was not there solely to bring her food.

"I don't think Professor McGonagall would be too pleased if I agreed to that. I will be downstairs, be there in an hour."

She nodded and then closed the door.

He lent against the door frame. That had been harder than he had expected, not pulling her to him and finishing where they had left off. How could he feel this way about such an insufferable know it all? He could barely stand to be in the same room as her and a few days ago he was protesting at McGonagall's insistence that he should be her protector. He sighed and pulled himself away from the door, descending the stairs and telling himself that he cared about no one but himself.

She was ready ten minutes early, but was afraid to go down. The first lesson was Potions and she didn't want to be early, knowing that he was her teacher and they would have to sit together for a few minutes before everyone arrived, silently reflecting on what had happened last night. Finally she plucked up the courage to walk down the stairs, looking down at her shoes instead of the man she knew would be waiting for her there.

Neither said anything as he stood and began to stride towards his classroom. She had given up trying to catch up with him and now walked at her own pace. Soon, he turned a corner and she could no longer see him. She smiled slightly at having finally got rid of him, then screamed as hands covered her mouth and she was dragged into an empty classroom.

She turned to see Ron smirking slightly, all compassion he had ever possessed gone. Without a word, he threw her to the floor.

"Crucio."

His held his wand over her as she fell, pointed it effortlessly at her and laughing at her pain in a way only the cruellest of death eaters could ever have managed.  
The pain filled her completely, leaving no room for thought. It forced her to curl into a ball, hold her head in agony, wish for death that would eventually come if this continued. She screamed, but no sound would come out, everything was trapped inside, the torture was pushing her over the edge and she knew that any moment now, she couldn't take it anymore, she had to find a way to end it even if that meant killing herself. Her head felt like it would burst, her heart throbbing in her chest as if trying to escape. She had been through this before but not like this, he had never _meant _it this much before. In a whimper she begged for death, for anything that would end this, but he only laughed cruelly at her. He would wait until she had fallen apart completely, until she could take it no longer, then he would leave.

His plan was cut short though, when he heard over Hermione's whimpering footsteps approaching. He looked up to see Snape appearing in the doorway and he jumped out of the window, grabbing his broom from when he had placed in against the wall on the other side and flew into the distance, cackling as he went. Snape threw the door open and ran to the window, one leg over it before he heard Hermione's cries. She was on the floor in a ball with her hands over her head, sobbing and screaming, occasionally forming words but never stringing together sentences. He had to decide on the spot whether to go after Ron, who he knew he would never catch, or comfort the girl who made him feel something he hadn't felt since Lily Potter. He decided on the latter, convincing himself that she was right, it would be stupid to go after Ron, yet a little voice in his head still insisted that he wasn't doing it because of that, he was doing it because he couldn't stand to see her in so much pain and do nothing to help.

He knelt down next to her, forcing her head up to look at him. Her face was tear streaked and her eyes looked at him, begging him to help her. He took her head into his lap and stroked her tangled hair back then wiped the tears from her face but still they continued to fall. Her screaming reduced to quiet whimpers after over ten minutes, but still she was unable to talk, barely managing to breathe. Comforting her helped calm his anger, but still when he thought of the boy who had done this to her he had to fight not to jump up and go after him, ready to kill him if found. He couldn't help but wonder what Harry had been doing all this time, but his attention was brought back to Hermione when she spoke.

"He was never this bad."

"Shhhh."

Snape whispered. Not only did he know she needed her rest, he also didn't want her to bring up Ron because he didn't know if he could control himself knowing what the boy had done to her. Remembering his class, he stood for a second but her arm reached up and grabbed his hand.

"Don't leave."

She whimpered. Severus couldn't deal with the pleading in her voice and he collapsed to the floor again, pulled her onto his lap and her head to his chest. He let out a low whistle to call his owl to him and it arrived in a few seconds. He called some parchment and a pen over from the desk and began to write to the headmistress.

Minerva

Mr Weasley kidnapped Miss Granger from behind my back, used crutiatus and then fled. She is fine, but refusing to let me leave, cover needed for my lesson. Will explain more later but it looks like Harry is in big trouble.

Severus Snape.

*Honesty known by few.


	6. The Bonding Spell

A/N: This chapter was so hard to write, hope it's alright, and as always review's make me happy : ) just saying. Sorry it's so short, I had four drama essays and four sheets of maths to do near the start and after pausing half way through (having given up on my homework) was exhausted. Also, it felt like a good place to end. Tell me what you think? 3

**The bonding spell**

"Severus, how could you let this happen? I told you to look after her."

"I apologize, Minerva, but you know how insufferable that girl is, and she walks far too slow. I will not let her out of my sight from now on."

"I know you won't, because as soon as she is out of hospital wing I am putting a bonding spell on the two of you. You will not be allowed further than ten metres apart from each other, excluding lesson time. Is that understood?"

Snape opened and closed his mouth, searching for words, too many complaints spinning around in his head. Finally he chose one.

"What about meal time, and when she needs to sleep? This is simply ridiculous."

"Well, you will have to work something out then won't you Severus."

He stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him and the headmistress sighed. Dumbledore's voice pierced through the sudden silence.

"Thank you, Minerva."

She whipped her head around, seeing the twinkle in his eyes and the slight smile playing on his lips.

"You better hope to God that this works, Albus."

"This is absolutely ludicrous! What am I meant to do about sleeping, and eating, and going to the toilet? She can't do this!"

Severus sighed. He had been through this already in his head but the headmistress' word was final.

"As the head teacher, she can, and she has. You will have to eat in my quarters, it seems. As for sleeping, I will set up a bed beside mine, preferably on the other side of the room if I can manage it, your incessant yapping is sure to get on my nerves. We have ten metres, Miss Granger, and I intent on using all of it."

The OWLs came and went, Snape escorting Hermione to and from them. Sleep became an issue, Hermione keeping Severus up all night with the rustling of her books as she revised what she already knew. By the end, she had barely had any sleep and she looked absolutely distraught every exam she came out of, murmuring to herself at every answer she was certain she had got wrong. There was a Gryffindor end of exam party in the common room and, after much begging, mainly from Severus, Professor McGonagall allowed the bond to be broken for a few hours so Hermione could attend.

When she entered the common room, there was silence for a moment in which everyone looked at her. She hadn't been around for so long, shadowing Snape's every move meant she wasn't in the public eye often. After a few seconds, they returned to whatever they were doing, which for most of them was drinking.

Seamus Finnegan approached Hermione with a large glass of fire whiskey and offered it to her. She accepted gratefully, her lack of sleep and too much stress had caused her to believe that she needed to loosen up.

Six glasses and numerous falls later, the door swung open and there stood Professor Snape. He had been dragged through the corridors to this spot once the bond has been reinstated and he was understandably annoyed. This was only amplified when he found Hermione unable to stand as she approached him. It took longer than expected for her to close those few metres, and when she got within inches of him she did something no one was expecting.

Hermione threw her arms around the professor's neck, pulling herself up so their faces were level and she was on her tip toes, most of her weight on him as she found it difficult to stand. He attempted to push her back but she refused to let go and leant in closer to him, breathing heavily. Her breath smelt of alcohol and he pulled his head back slightly. He pushed her away again but she still clung on as if her life depended on it. She brought her lips so close to his that he could feel her breath on his own lips. His lips thinned as he raised his wand to her chest.

"Petrificus totalus."

He caught her with one arm as she fell backwards, frozen in the position she had been in before the spell. He lifted her a few inches from the floor easily and took her from the room, taking one sweeping glance at its inhabitants, daring them to say anything, then, when none did, closed the door behind him. He immediately lifted the spell and she seemed shocked for a moment, but not for long. She smiled slightly, then threw her arms around him again.

"Miss Granger, let go this instant or I will be forced to take further action."

His voice was so stern that she took a step back, her lip pouting before she gagged slightly.

"I think I'm gunna be sick."

He picked her up into his arms swiftly, one arm under her knees and the other holding her shoulders. He strode as fast as he could without running to the dungeons, took her into the bathroom, placed her on her knees near the toilet then turned and walked to his bedroom. He could hear the sound of her throwing up all night. He knew the potion to stop this, but refused to help her, she needed to sober up the muggle way to teach her a lesson about alcohol.

That morning, he found her collapsed on the floor by the toilet. He nudged her slightly with his foot but she simply groaned and turned around. McGonagall's words from the last night, moments before their bond had been reinstated, echoed in his head.

_"Severus, as I am sure you are aware, when the OWLs end, the students are grouped in threes and each given a professor to teach them the ways of the wizarding world to prepare them. As we have lost two of our students, I'm going to put you in charge of only Hermione. You will have her for the first two lessons of every day, then the rest of the time you are teaching she will become your apprentice to equip her for when she is to take over your job. Every other Professor is to take more than one batch of students, but, as you are aware, Hermione is important and will need more than the simple interview techniques and ministry information to get her through for when she is no longer in education. I have a bad feeling about Ron, and if he comes for her again, we need her to be ready. Don't mess this up Severus, you know how important she is."_

Now he watched the girl who was so important to the headmistress groan and turn on the floor, pressing her hand to her head. Her eyes flickered open momentarily to register him standing there, but closed a moment later under the annoyance of the bright light. He leant down next to her and picked her up into his arms. His first two lessons were with her and he was sure the headmistress wouldn't mind if these lessons were muggle ones.

He placed her on his own bed then sat down next to her, stroking her hair back from her face. She managed to be beautiful despite her pale face and obvious hangover. He had only ever experienced a hangover once in his life, at a Christmas party of Lucius'. Lucius refused to give Snape a potion in the morning and it taught him never to drink in excess again. He was hoping the girl would learn this lesson so he would never have to go through the heart wrenching situation of rejecting her again. He had done it before though, in his room, the first time she had tried to kiss him. He shook this from his head, that was different.

_She's just a girl Severus, leave the insufferable child alone. She does not and cannot feel the same. Anything you feel towards her is simply the problems of a man who has never loved since being rejected the first time._

Lily Potter didn't come into Severus' mind so often lately, but now he recognised the pang in his chest of the reminder. However, this was nothing like what he had felt when seeing Hermione under the crutiatus curse. He had never felt the urge to kill Potter quite as much as he had Weasley. Even though Potter had never hurt Lily, he had hurt Severus, and the realisation that that meant a lot less that Weasley hurting Hermione hit him like a ton of bricks.

_She means nothing. _

He tried to convince himself but his heart disagreed, urged him to open himself to her, showed him the signs that she saw in him what he saw in her, but his mind refused to accept it.

If it came to a fight between Severus' mind and heart, his heart had always won, ever since Lily. Hermione could not change that, years of a stone mask covering his true emotions could not be thrown away with one little, insignificant girl. He refused to let that happen.


	7. Apparation

A/N: You've made me happy : ) I got up to 10 reviews and 20 story alerts and I LOVE round numbers : ) I got home from school so tired then that just made my day :' ) The paper marking idea comes from Coolalisa, sorry, I had no choice : ) As always, review : ) I just got my mock exam timetable and it is NOT good, I need cheering up : ) LOVE YOU, yes, you : )

**Apparation**

Hermione woke up with a splitting headache and turned to look at the clock but it wasn't where it normally was. She opened her eyes further and looked around. She was in Snape's bed, still in her clothes from last night. She attempted to remember what had happened last but the last she knew, Seamus had given her the fifth glass of fire whiskey and she was wondering whether to take it. She obviously had.

She dragged herself out of bed in search of something to heal the pain and after quite a bit of fumbling around in the bathroom cabinet, found some muggle aspirin. She put two into her mouth and swallowed, even that seemed to hurt. She had a hot shower and that seemed to ease the pain slightly, although she still felt faint. After turning the shower off she wrapped a towel over herself, then returned to the bedroom. She jumped when she saw the clock, it was 11am, her lesson with Snape had finished an hour ago and she was now meant to be helping him with his first year lesson. She grabbed her clothes out of the suitcase under her bed, threw them on as quickly as possible and ran to Snape's classroom, cloak still in her hand, top button undone and hair still wet. She opened the door quietly and tiptoed in, but there was no need, the first year class hadn't noticed her. Snape looked up from his desk where he was marking papers and noticed her standing there, looking around her. After a few seconds, her eyes met his. He rose from his chair and strode over to her while gesturing for her to leave the classroom. Once outside, he lent against the door and sighed.

"Which part of you are not allowed to wander the corridors alone did you not understand, Miss Granger, if anything had happened..."

She shook her head slightly, ignoring the pain that went with it.

"It didn't. Why didn't you wake me?"

He snorted slightly, then composed himself.

"I tried."

She ignored the teasing in his voice, yes, Miss Perfect had got it wrong for once.

"What happened last night?"

His face clouded over slightly but she tried to look past that.

"You don't remember?"

She shook her head and he let out a barely-there smile, which surprised her, Snape never smiled. He looked much younger suddenly, and much more attractive.

"Then it is not important, Miss Granger, now I have a class to get back to. I suggest that you sit in the back and find something to get on with, I don't think you are in the condition to be up and about right now."

She noticed the slight smirk before he returned to normal. As he turned away from her, she allowed herself a smile before he opened the door for her and she took a seat at the back of the class. She placed her chin in her hands and watched him walk around the class checking each student's potion and turning each one down, as always.

"Too much dried nettles, not enough porcupine quills, you will have to start again Mr Stuart, just what do you think this is Miss Wallis? Miss Granger!"

She jumped as she heard her name and he picked the pile of papers off his desk. He strode over to her, slammed the papers onto the desk and placed both hands on the table, leaning over so their faces were inches from each other.

"Miss Granger, if you refuse to do anything productive, you will be marking papers for the rest of the lesson, understood?"

She nodded and pulled the papers towards her before he had so much as looked away. She marked the papers in silence, only occasionally looking up to see what Snape was up to. Most of the time he was just insulting peoples potion making skills or their personality in general but once or twice she caught him looking back at her. In these instances they would both look away quickly as if they had done something wrong. When the lesson ended and the entire class had filed out, Snape followed them, expecting Hermione to follow behind him. She sighed and collected up the papers, ready to go, taking one final look around the room. Ron's eyes looked out from the shadows, unseen. Just before she reached the door, his hand snapped out and grabbed her arm. She turned and, on seeing him, collapsed to the floor. She had thought she was safe, she felt stupid for letting her guard down. He smirked slightly.

"I've seen you with him. How can you love him and not me? So you like the greasy potion teacher type? I must say Hermione, I thought better of you."

She fought back the urge to slap him, or answer back. Where was Snape when she needed him?

Severus Snape tried to take another step forward, but found himself unable. He tried again but was only pulled back another step. He sighed and looked behind him, but the girl wasn't there. His heart jumped as he wondered what had held her back. He convinced himself that she must be making a stand for him not telling her they were going. He began to stride towards his classroom, more worried than he liked to admit, when Dean Thomas walked past him.

"Weheyy Professor, someone pulled last night."

Snape took the boy by his collar and Dean had the common sense to be terrified.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor, Mr Thomas."

He snarled into the boys face and he nodded before running away. Snape sighed. He hoped this hadn't gotten around the school, he couldn't deal with it if she found out. He opened the door to the classroom and the first thing he heard was the crack of Ron Weasley's hand against Hermione's pale face. Severus strode in, ready to make the boy suffer for that, and everything else, but just before he reached him, Ron disappeared. Snape growled and spun around, his cloak billowing behind him as he began to make his way to McGonagall's office, leaving barely enough time for Hermione to rise. She ran after him, the side of her face still burning, barely keeping up with him as he stormed away in his thunderous rage.

"Professor Snape, please."

He span around and she flew into his chest again. He caught the sides of her arms then leant into her face, his features overcome with pure anger and hatred. Inches from her face, he growled.

"He shouldn't have been able to get away. I would have killed him with my bare hands, I would have faced a lifetime in Azkaban to kill that appalling excuse for a wizard, yet he got away, we may never be free of him Miss Granger, and simply because the Headmistress _forgot _to replace the apparation ban after Dumbledore died. I will _not _stand for this. I will not watch him get away with this again."

Hermione spoke in a calm voice, the complete opposite of his.

"Get away with what, sir?"

Snape's voice broke and he only murmured what he said next, but he was close enough for her to hear clearly. He looked down at her lips as he spoke, unable to look her in the eyes.

"Hurting you."

He turned and continued storming to McGonagall's office, but now looking back occasionally to see if she was keeping up.

Snape stormed into her office and McGonagall knew immediately that this was not going to be a social visit, though it never was with Snape.

"Before you reprimand me for overlooking safety, Minerva, you may want to think about taking care of your _own _responsibilities. Or do you think you can find a way to blame _me _for Mr Weasley being able to apparate out of the building without so much as blinking."

Minerva's breath caught in her throat as she remembered.

"Severus, maybe the girl should go and we can discuss this sensibly."

He spoke through his teeth, trying to keep his temper and failing miserably.

"The last two times I have left her alone, she has been attacked, I am _not _willing to let this happen again, especially as Mr Weasley now has an escape route."

"Severus, maybe..."

"Do you not _understand _Minerva? I cannot look after her all the time, what if I turn my back for one second and she is not there, what if he manages to get to her whilst I'm asleep, what if he cast the imperius curse on her, or even worse, what if he _kills _her? I do not even have to be looking away for that, two simple words and she is gone. Whether he is caught or not after that, we have still _lost_. We have underestimated him greatly, Minerva, he is _not _giving up and he only seems to be searching for one thing. The girl. We must ensure that he does not get her and no bonding curse is going to change that."

Hermione broke the silence that followed his speech.

"Spell, Professor."

He gave her a curious glance. The look on her face was heartbreaking and he recognised it all too well, although he didn't want to have to. She was giving up.

"Bonding Spell, not curse. I don't need looking after, if something happens then so be it."

She turned and began to walk away, but McGonagall's voice stopped her. She knew that tone, the headmistress had an idea. She hoped to God that this made up for the McGonagall's earlier mistake for she had to admit, Snape was terrifying he he was angry.

"That won't be necessary, Miss Granger, Grimmauld Place is still available and warded, if we simply do not allow Ronald Weasley through the wards..."

"Are you suggesting that the girl moves away from Hogwarts, taking away all the opportunity to learn how to defeat Mr Weasley that she may have had before."

Severus always managed to find a flaw in everything, but Minerva had foreseen this one and come up with a solution.

"Oh no, Severus, it will not affect her education, in fact it may help it. You will be moving with her."


	8. Grimmauld Place

A/N: My internet is screwing up :'( Probably because I'm actually the most impatient person ever and when it's slow I just keep refreshing. So yeah, I gave up, and now I'm not very happy. And also, I don't like this chapter. It's too short and by the way, it gets a bit gruesome, just a sentence or two, so if you're scared of blood, maybe not your thing? Also, I know Kreacher didn't die in the war, but then again Snape did. I hate to change Rowling's work because she's amazing but sometimes it's a lot easier. Review, even if it's not positive, criticism is helpful, yeah : ) I am meant to be doing mock revision now so... I was trying to find a way to blame you for me not but I can't seem to : (

**Grimmauld Place**

They reached the door. Hermione turned to Snape and leant against the dark wooden door, taking a deep breath.

She had never thought she would have to return here, least of all to hide away again. She had never thought there would be anyone evil enough to threaten her existence again, not since Voldemort died, and she had never even considered the fact that it would be Ron. Not even when he started using the crutiatus curse did she ever believe that he was truly evil. It wasn't as if this was her first experience of running from evil, but it was the most surprising, and also the most sudden. A week before she had been worrying about exams and staying in Snape's quarters but now she had only him for company for God knew how long and the prospect of what might happen if he wasn't there with her scared her even more. The realisation that he was always the one that came to her rescue threw her a bit, as he had always been the one they had accused of being the problem. Even when he wasn't an object of their accusations, he never managed to be in her good books, even now. Every time he felt himself getting close to someone, he would push them away with some insult or other and she couldn't help but wonder if this was due to Lily. There was no way she was about to ask though.

He placed his hand on the door beside her head and leant against it.

"Are we going to go in or just stand here?"

He looked around nervously, and she wondered whether he was caring for his own safety or hers. She assured herself that if it was for her safety, this would be only due to his promise to McGonagall.

"I didn't want it to come to this."

She felt a silent tear roll down her left cheek and his hand twitched, ready to wipe it from her soft skin, but he reminded himself not to. Firstly, he was her teacher, it wasn't right and meant he was many years older than her, he could easily be her father, but secondly, and more importantly to him, he was not willing to open himself up to anyone. He sighed and leant back, realising that he was too close to her for his own comfort. He reached for the door handle, but her hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. They both felt the familiar tingle travel down their veins and she let go immediately. He turned to door knob slowly, locks were unnecessary as no one could get in unless they had been specifically chosen and now the only people allowed in were Hermione, Snape and Harry, in case he ever returned.

Hermione had been worrying about him constantly since he had left, her only comfort being that Harry was strong, but even then she had underestimated Ron. Snape spent so much of his time worrying about Hermione that he barely realised that Harry was gone, the only sign being the lack of moaning.

Hermione stood straight, making them even closer that they were before, as he pushed the door then his face froze. She tried to turn around to see what he had seen but he pulled her head to his chest, blocking her sight completely. She didn't bother fighting, if Snape had been affected by this it was bad.

A finger. Solitary on the carpet, detached from the body. A note lay next to it and his fingers itched to pick it up and read it, but then he saw Hermione beginning to turn around. She could not see this if it was what he thought it was.

He bent down and lifted her slightly off the floor, their noses touching each other now. As he started walking, she could feel herself slipping and wrapped her legs around his waist. He tried to ignore the way his heart jumped.

"Look into my eyes, Miss Granger, do not look away, promise me?"

She nodded slightly as he walked, his pace not affected by the extra weight in the slightest. He carried her to the kitchen and placed her on the nearest chair. He bent down over her, their faces still so close that she could see each of his individual dark eyelashes.

"Do not under any circumstances exit this room, do you understand? If you need me, call out, but do not so much as touch the door."

She looked away from his eyes as she felt another tear drop down her face and fall onto her jeans leaving a darker mark in the denim.

"Look at me, Miss Granger."

His tone was softer than it had been moments ago her eyes rose to meet his.

"Is Harry alright?"

Snape's gaze locked with hers for a moment before he turned away and strode out of the door, closing it firmly behind him.

He picked up the note first in his eagerness, ignoring the finger for a moment.

_If you want your hero back, I need Hermione. Don't forget, I am watching._

He wondered how Ron had gotten inside when he looked up and saw the blasted muggle letterbox contraption. He turned his attentions to the finger. There was dirt under the nail and blood dripping from the end where it had been severed. Severus could find no evidence that it was Harry's but could find no evidence that it wasn't either.

He opened the cupboard under the stairs, finding it ironic that he was now planning on storing part of Harry in the place where he had once lived and hated. He found a shoe box and placed both the letter and the finger in there, casting a preserving spell on the box before placing it behind an old bike. After checking that the floor was clean and there was no evidence he let out a breath and tried to clear his mind of any worries before he opened the door, knowing Hermione could sense it.

He opened the door and Hermione had her arms wrapped around her knees which touched her chest. Tears silently streaked down her face. She looked up when he walked in.

"All he wants is me, maybe I should just give him what he wants."

"Did Voldemort stop when he got what he wanted?"

Hermione thought for a moment then shook her head. Snape took a seat and placed it opposite her, sitting down a safe distance away so he didn't feel the need to comfort her, every time he did it left him missing her in his arms.

"This isn't your fault. There are always going to be bad people in the world, if Ron stops then someone else will come along. You can't blame it on yourself simply because you happened to be with him when he lost it."

He hated that this was just another example of why not to get attached, but not nearly as much as he hated Ron for doing this to her.

"Lessons start tomorrow."

She looked confused for a second.

"McGonagall requires me to teach you how to defend yourself in the case of Ron attacking, though that shouldn't be necessary if you don't do anything stupid."

He gave her a look and she knew what he meant. Her, Harry and Ron tended to do stupid things and even if they did end up beneficial, it would always have been better if they hadn't. They simply couldn't leave it to responsible adults to do anything, though very few of them were trustworthy and the ones that were hid it. She nodded and there was nothing to do but unpack their things and settle into their new rooms.

Their suitcase had been transported here earlier but there was no longer a house elf to receive them, Kreacher having died in the war. They both rose, nodding each other goodnight before Hermione followed Snape up the stairs to find her bedroom, but not before she noticed that the cupboard under the stairs was slightly open.


	9. Severus

A/N: I'm not happy. The last two days were the first days since I started writing this book that I didn't update, gutted. I had to guide for open day until 9 and when I got home I was exhausted and I had history coursework to do, then the next day I had to do French coursework.

The reviews last time were heart warming, I actually wanted to cry so thank you and keep it up : ) God knows I'll need it to get through my mocks *yawn*. 3 YOU ARE AMAZING.

**Severus**

It was a week before Hermione remembered the cupboard under the stairs. She was looking for a book that she was sure had been in the house before when she came to the cupboard.

She hesitantly pulled the door open, expecting something to jump out but it didn't, however she still didn't feel right about it. She used a lumos spell so she could see what was in there and her eyes immediately fell to the box. It had been almost hidden by a rusty old bike but a corner poked out, making it more obvious than it would have been if it was out in the open. She bent down and pushed the bike back slightly, being as quiet as possible because Snape was still asleep as far as she knew.

As soon as she picked up the box, she could feel the magic surrounding it and her common sense told her to put it down, but curiosity got the better of her and she lifted a corner slightly, then pulled the entire lid off, not believing what she was seeing. The finger lay there, the same as it had been when Snape had found it. She felt sick to the stomach the second she saw it. She read the note, and then read it again and again, trying to make sense of it. Hero? It couldn't be, it was impossible, Harry was too strong and she had never believed Ron capable of kidnapping his best friend, although they had all underestimated him greatly. She paused for a moment, placing the box back on to the floor, then stood again and let it sink in. She fell backwards against the wall and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down but it was impossible. Finally, when she could take it no longer, she propelled herself at the front door, determined to escape and find Ron, what she was planning to do then she did not even know but she had to do something.

However, getting out of the door wasn't as easy as she had expected. The handle turned easily enough but the door itself would not budge. She threw herself against it, looked for a keyhole and used alohamora numerous times, but nothing worked. She banged her fists against the door in her anger, screaming obscenities directed at whoever had made it impossible for her to escape. Finally, she remembered one spell that might help and stepped back, raising her wand to the wooden door.

"Bomba..."

A cold hand went over her mouth before she could finish the spell. His monotone voice whispered into her ear, filled with venom and anger.

"Do you _ever _think of the consequences of your actions, Miss Granger, he is standing outside that door at this precise moment, waiting to torture you. One more unforgivable curse and you will die, Miss Granger, no doubt about it. You are growing more and more like Mr Potter every day, increasingly ignorant and rash. Next time, there will be no one to protect you, maybe then you'll realise how stupid you can be."

She whipped her head around, forcing his hand away from her mouth. He silently thanked her for this, her lips were so soft and warm, all he could think about throughout his whole speech was how good it would feel to kiss her.

"Don't you dare bring Harry into this. Now _let me out_. I don't care about being tortured and I am _not _making a rash decision, I have to save my friend. I know that you've never cared about anyone in your life but that doesn't mean you have to stop others that do."

He took a deep breath, along with a step back from her.

"You're wrong, about me not caring about anyone. The problem is, I care too much."

He turned on his heel and stormed up the stairs, but she refused to let him have the last word.

"I am never speaking to you again, Severus!"

He paused and turned his head slightly, looking at her perfect face. There was a sadness in his eyes that she couldn't understand.

"That's Professor Snape to you."

He slammed his door behind him with a finality which prohibited her from continuing the argument.

It was a week before Hermione and Snape spoke again.

He came into her room late at night and she immediately closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. She hadn't been able to sleep properly since Ron had started acting up. Snape obviously believed her act because he sat down on the side of her bed carefully and reached out a hand, twirling a piece of her hair in one of his fingers. He couldn't ignore how that made his heart leap.

"I'm sorry for every terrible thing I have said or done to you. I assure you that I meant none of it, it is just so much easier to push people away than be hurt all over again, take it from someone who knows. I care about you, Hermione, more than you could imagine and I wish that you could know that. I'm leaving now, I have to go and find Mr Weasley. Mr Potter may have meant less than nothing to me, but I know that you can't stand being locked away, least of all with only me for company."

His voice was full of emotion and she couldn't help but notice the immense difference between that and his normal voice. Simply the fact that Snape was capable of any kind of emotion, and that he had called her Hermione for the first time, made her determined to stop him from going. She felt him place a note behind her then retreat to the hall and she jumped up from her bed, ignoring the head rush that went along with it. She met him in the hallway and he turned around suddenly, his wand raised to her without even thinking about it. She didn't so much as flinch as she took her wand out of her pyjama waistband and held it to his chest.

"You're not going anywhere."

Her voice was so stern it broke his heart to contradict her.

"I have to."

His voice broke slightly and she tilted her head, astonished at how different he suddenly was.

"No, you don't."

He tried to grab her wrist but she was pulled it away just in time and took a step back. He looked ready to run and she was determined not to let that happen so she did the only thing she could think of.

"Petrificus Totalus."

He fell backwards as if in slow motion and she heard the crack of his head against the banister before she saw the blood trickling onto the floor as he lay there, wide eyed and unmoving.

She cursed under her breath as she ran down the stairs and picked up a cloth, running it under warm water before running back up. She couldn't use magic to fix the cut, it was far too dangerous. As she reached him, he was beginning to regain consciousness. He sat up but she forced him back down with one hand as she sunk to the floor and dabbed at his wound with the cloth.

She heard his intake of breath as she silently cleaned the cut. It wasn't as bad as it had looked, it would probably only make a small scar but it was hard to tell through all his hair.

"Cut it off."

He muttered and she looked down at him incredulously.

"What?"

"Cut the hair off. I've been meaning to for a while and now it seems necessary. "

She stood up placing his head, which had been on her lap, slowly and carefully to the floor. She heard his sharp intake of breath and whispered apologies as she retrieved a pair of scissors from her room. Once she returned, she pulled his head back into her lap and he didn't refuse.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded and she raised a clump of his hair. She winced as she took the first snip and it fell. He urged her on with a hand movement, his eyes still closed. She continued until his hair was only a couple of centimetres long. He looked so young like this, barely in his thirty's, and this surprised her. She ran her fingers through the little hair that was left, then examined the wound. She had been right, it wasn't very big at all and she was sure it would heal in a couple of days, even if it was the muggle way.

When he finally opened his eyes, she was staring down at him with a look on her face that he could not place. She smiled slightly when she saw that he was better. He sat up slowly and winced slightly at the pain in his head.

"Are you alright, Professor Snape?"

He let out a slight smile before controlling his features once again. She looked so beautiful right now, slightly fragile and yet more stunning than usual, like a butterfly. All he wanted to do was to be able to remember her like this forever, take a picture in his head and be able to replay it again and again, watching her smile at him and look concerned for his well being. That's what got him, no one had been concerned about him since Lily. No one cared about him, he was the one who ruined dreams, crushed happiness, abolished goodness, and to find someone who cared despite that was something he had dreamed about for so long.

"That's Severus to you."


	10. So Close

A/N: *Excuse time* I went out at 12am yesterday then went to a gig last night and I got home at 12pm then had to get up at 6 this morning so I am actually so unbelievably tired. *Excuse time ends* thank you for all the lovely reviews it makes me so happy : ) I had some major writing block today I was like no... I fail at life, I'm horrible, I hate myself, no stop it, you've got to write! The things I do for you. This chapter is terrible and I really couldn't be bothered to proof read it so there are probably so many mistakes. Sorry.

**So close**

Severus didn't leave, not right then anyway. She made him promise. That made her happier than she could have ever expected. She had never thought she would care about anyone again, not after how Ron turned out, she didn't like not being in control and caring meant losing control but that didn't feel so bad with him.

After checking that he was really alright, to which he replied snappily that he was, she turned away.

As she wandered back into her bedroom, trying to hide her smile from him, she saw him freeze. He ran to her door, trying to get to it before she did but she opened it before he could stop her. She didn't know what he was doing, what could make Snape so protective, then she saw it. The note, lying on the pillow beside her bed where he had laid it before leaving. She had forgotten about it after what had happened but now it all flooded back, everything he had said, then the note he placed beside her that she had disregarded in the enthusiasm to make sure he didn't leave. He dived for it but she was too quick for him as she took out her wand and pointed it at the mysterious piece of paper.

"Accio note."

It flew towards her just before his fingers closed around it. It floated just above his head for a moment, taunting him, before flying slowly straight into her open palm. She had never seen Severus so defensive over anything. Hermione looked him into his dark eyes as she slowly opened the note. He stood slowly and brushed himself down, avoiding her eyes and trying to find a distraction, anything to stop her seeing how this affected him. He watched her face as she read the note, her eyes moving back and forth, eyebrows knitting together as she got further on. He briefly considered erasing her memory but he didn't want to do that.

_Hermione __Miss Granger._

_ I don't know what to say. I don't want to go. Despite my efforts, I've somehow allowed myself to fall again. I don't want to do this, I don't want to lose again. When I find Mr Weasley, he is dead. Anyone who could do that to you does not deserve to live. If I do not return, there is only one thing I want you to know, always. You're the one who made me fall, and I promise you I do not let that happen often._

_ I'm sorry._

This was wrong, he never apologised and he most definitely didn't ever tell anyone what he was thinking, and he didn't want to _lose, _what did that mean? She could figure it out and she didn't feel like she wanted to. She looked up from the note just in time to see him storm out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

He would not speak to her for the next few days, he couldn't so much as look at her. You could not simply put it down to Severus though, Hermione stayed away from him as well. She could not work out what she was feeling herself so couldn't find it within herself to reject him. A year ago, she would have done exactly that immediately without even thinking about it, but things had changed. They weren't at school anymore and she couldn't deny the fact that she felt some sort of strange attraction towards him whenever they were close.

They ate breakfast lunch and dinner separately even though he was an atrocious cook and mainly lived on beans and toast and sandwiches.

It wasn't until Minerva arrived for a check up that they had to talk. He met her in the hallway moments before and looked down on her, like when he was her teacher, not her friend, or maybe more. That hurt.

"Forget about it."

She immediately knew what he meant and shook her head slightly. Her lip pouted slightly.

"I don't want to."

Minerva apparated into the room and took a step back when she felt the tension between the two. She then turned and glared at Snape angrily.

"Severus, what did I tell you."

He had the decency to look ashamed, even though this wasn't simply his fault. Professor McGonagall turned to Hermione and her features warmed automatically. She had never really liked Snape ever since they had been heads of opposing houses then he had taken the headmaster job that should have been hers, however briefly.

"Miss Granger, are you settling in alright?"

She nodded silently.

"And the lessons..."

Hermione opened her mouth slightly, then closed it again. She had forgotten about the lessons with all that had happened and it appeared that Snape had as well. However, he was better at improvisation than her and took a shorter time to recover.

"We are letting Miss Granger have a couple of weeks rest after Mr Weasley's antics. I have observed her simple magic and it is excellent, we were planning on starting Occulemency tomorrow."

Minerva nodded, finding no fault in his explanation, and nodded her goodbye to Hermione and then disappeared, but not before a disapproving glance at Snape. Hermione was the best student in Hogwarts and she did not want him ruining it like he always did.

As soon as the headmistress had gone, Hermione sighed and headed for the stairs, thinking Snape would want to be left alone. He grabbed her arm before her foot hit the first stair and turned her to him. She was too close but he couldn't step back now, he was held to her by some invisible force. She could feel it too, the immediate attraction to him as she stood so near she could almost kid herself that she could hear his heart beat. His grip on her wrist loosened but she entwined her fingers with his when their hands fell apart. He didn't even try to pull her hand away, he didn't want to and he was fed up of not doing things just because it wasn't right.

"Miss Granger, I..."

She interrupted him, anger quickly flashing across her face then disappearing.

"Hermione."

He had to force himself to call her by her first name, he had been teaching her for so long that it felt wrong.

"_Hermione_, about the note..."

She interrupted him again but he didn't have the heart to be angry.

"Severus Snape, don't you dare apologise."

"But..."

She placed her finger on his lips and he felt the familiar electricity.

"No buts."

She smiled as she remembered when her parents used to say that. She took her finger away from his lips when it was obvious he wasn't going to contradict her. His mouth was centimetres from hers now and she could feel his breath tickling her lips but she didn't feel as uncomfortable as she should have.

"I meant every word of it."

He wanted so badly to close that inch between then, to bring his lips to hers, show her that he was not scared, that she could be comfortable with him but he was scared, so scared that she would back away or tell him she didn't like him or that she loved someone else. So they just stood there, an inch apart, his breath laboured as he tried to stop himself leaning in. She disentangled her hand from his and stepped up onto the first step then took his face in both her hands. She leant in towards him and placed her forehead on his so his eyes met hers.

Her eyes were golden brown and they shimmered slightly in the dim light. They told him more than she possibly could. She couldn't decide what to do, but he could tell what she wanted to do. Just as he decided that he should go for it and had started raising his hand to touch her face, she stepped up another step and took her hands away from his face. It felt so wrong without her there, especially when he had gotten so close to doing what he had been deliberating for weeks.

"Good night Severus."

She ran up the stairs and closed the door to her room quickly before collapsing against it and sinking down to the floor completely unaware that she had been just about to get what she wanted.


	11. Occulemency

A/N: I should be revising English right now. This sort of is English though, right? As always, review, it makes me happy : )

**Occulemency**

He took a deep breath before knocking on her door.

Last night had been a mistake, he told himself that in the heat of the moment he had forgotten who he was, who she was, and worst of all he had forgotten Lily. Hermione Granger was still his student and no stupid feelings he may or may not have could change that.

His rapped on the door loudly, pulling himself out of his thoughts and her out of her slumber. She groaned and turned to the clock, eight in the morning. It wasn't exactly early but why would he feel the need to wake her up, then she remembered, he had told McGonagall that they would be starting Occulemency today. She was silently dreading it after what she had heard of Harry's experiences. The thought of Harry sent a silent stab of pain to her heart, but served her well in reminding her that there was a reason for this, if Ron could work out Legilimency he could know what she was doing and maybe control her. She could not let him do that, so she dragged herself out of bed, forced her eyes open and pulled open the door.

Snape couldn't help but notice how beautiful Hermione looked this morning. Her hair was pulled back carelessly and her face was clear of makeup as well as blemishes. She was wearing a tight vest top and baggy pyjama bottoms which made her look so fragile and yet so grown up. Throughout the years, he hadn't noticed her get so beautiful as she was always that insufferable know it all to him. However, now that she stood before him, silent and tired, he could notice the way her shoulders curved softly and how she bit her bottom lip absent mindedly as she thought. He could see the depth of her eyes, outlined by her long dark eyelashes, and the piercing at the top of her ear that he had never noticed she had. He had to force himself to speak in his normal, condescending manner.

"Be in the library in five minutes."

He turned and walked away, trying to forget the image of her face that seemed stuck in his mind.

He sat on the sofa and absent mindedly grabbed the first book that came to hand. He flicked through the pages for a few minutes before realising what he was holding, Hogwarts, A History. He scoffed at the book before placing it back down. He remembered her reading this book time and time again, it was worn out from the amount of times she had turned the pages, studiously examining every page. She looked beautiful when she read, her eyes down on the pages and oblivious to his absent minded staring. She looked so enthusiastic every time she learnt something new and he could almost see her committing it to memory.

She walked into the room seven minutes later.

"I believe I did say five minutes, Miss Granger."

She just looked at him silently, her eyes boring into his pale skin. He would never admit it, but that made him feel sort of intimidated. He cleared his throat and she seemed to wake up.

"Sorry, Sir."

He expected her to continue but she refused.

"Are you going to explain?"

She shook her head, seemingly not realising that he was about to look into her mind anyway.

"Miss Granger, are you ready to start?"

She nodded distantly, not really paying attention.

"Miss Granger."

His voice was full of authority and she finally snapped out of her daze.

"For this to work you will have to concentrate. Now clear your mind."

He watched her close her eyes and her face become peaceful, and then he pointed his dark wand at her. If her eyes had been open she would have seen the doubt in his face but she didn't.

"Legilimens!"  
_He could see nothing, all he could hear was the tense whispers of Ronald Weasley, directed towards someone who was on the floor._

"_Crucio! I _will_ kill you, have no doubt about that, but first I want you to suffer, I want everyone you love to die at your hand, I want you to feel so much guilt and pain that you will give in to me, tell me you love me, then you will die. There is only one way to make sure this happens. Impe..."_

_The door swung open and suddenly the room was flooded with light. Snape closed his eyes to the brightness and when he opened them again he was back in the library._

He strode over to her and grabbed her wrist, pushing her against the table behind her. He could feel the fear emanating off of her but he was too angry to process it.

"Who was at the door?"

"I... I don't know sir."

She stuttered and he had the decency to lower his voice.

"What part of no more secrets did you not understand, Miss Granger?"

"I... I was scared. He could so easily have killed me, he still can..."

"No he can't. I will not let him."

She looked up into his eyes and he took his hand away from her wrist. She briefly wondered why he cared before she remembered that it was his duty to look after her.

"Should we try again?"

He looked confused.

"The Occulemency."

He coughed and stepped away from her, realising how close they were.

"Okay, ready?"

She nodded.

"Legilimens!"

_This time the memories weren't as clear, it kept skipping from scene to scene, every single one involving him. Every time they had been close, every situation that showed he cared, him trying to cook for her, caring for her, looking after her. He could see his face, the pain in it when she walked away, the happiness that was so rare in himself shining through whenever she smiled. He could see things he hadn't seen before, her smiling as she walked away from him, her in class watching his every move, any time when they hadn't been talking and he had been positive that she didn't care he could now see her watching him go about his life, waiting for him to speak to her again and the disappointment when he didn't. He could see how every word he uttered affected her, and vice versa. He hated seeing tears well up in her eyes that he hadn't noticed before or the frowns that he had ignored. He hated the moments when he wasn't looking and hadn't seen her longing glances. He hated watching the expressions he had missed, the whispered words that he had ignored, but most of all he hated seeing himself get angry at her, saying things he had regretted for so long, making her upset for no reason and now having to see the consequences. He had always known that he did and said things in the heat of the moment that he didn't mean, ignored his own emotions in favour of what he thought was typical of the mask he was wearing. It hurt him that he now had to watch her suffer and not being able to do anything about it, then he hated that he wanted to do anything about it because he knew he shouldn't care. He watched the scenes slowly merge into times when she had been alone and vulnerable, crying herself to sleep, trying to forget what Ron was doing to her, then he watched Ron hurt her, he watched her suffer under the crutiatus curse, flashes of her pain split into fragments, unable to process it all as it went by so fast. He watched Ron take out a pocket knife then he saw her pain and watched him leave, and then saw her pick herself back up again and carry on despite the obvious agony she was going through. He watched every other time Ron had hurt her, he saw his face over hers, intimidating with a stroke of evil that hadn't been there when the boy was younger, then he watched himself comfort her after Ron had gone. The vision faded and he found himself on the floor of the library with her head in his lap._

He heard the remnants of her scream echo through the library but now she was silent. She had seen more than she had wanted to and so had he. During the memories they must have both fallen and he had absent mindedly pulled her to him, his hand was now tangled in her hair mid stroke and tears ran down her cheeks as she refused to open her eyes.

"Miss Granger, it is over. Open your eyes."

She shook her head slightly and his heart lurched.

"Hermione, please."

Her eyelids slowly lifted to reveal him looking down at her in concern. He could not process what he had just seen, so he concentrated on making sure she was alright.

"I'm sorry, I'm just no good at it."

"Occulemency needs a lot of practice to get it right, that's why such a small amount of people have mastered it, it takes a lot of willpower and re-experiencing painful memories to work it out. I understand if you want to stop."

She shook her head, just as he knew she would. She had been given a challenge and she would rise to it, just like she always had.

She pulled herself back up to her feet, ignoring his efforts to stop her, and sat down on the sofa.

"This way I won't fall again."

He didn't need her explanation, after all those memories, waking up so close to him was not what she wanted. He didn't want to continue with this, he hated looking into people's minds, but he knew that it was important if they wanted to defeat Mr Weasley.

"Okay, empty your mind, forget about Mr Weasley, forget everything, are you ready."

She nodded silently for the third time and he couldn't help but wonder how long this would take.

"Legilimens!"

_The image wasn't as clear right now, but he could still see her outline on the floor of her bedroom in Grimmauld Place, last year he assumed, sobbing quietly. He could hear the real her as if in the distance, screaming._

"NOOOOO!"

_He felt as if he shouldn't be there. He watched Ron walk into the door, but the image was fading slowly. Ron walked into the room and put his hand on her shoulder, but she shook it off. He kicked her and she simply changed position so her back was to him. Ron said something but the sound was muffled and Snape couldn't make it out. The image was slowly merging into that of the library and he tried to get back to see what happened next but now his feet were firmly rooted in reality._

One look at her and he could tell that she didn't want to tell him what had happened. For once, he let her keep something from him. She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them as she shook quietly out of fear. Her throat felt sore from all the screaming, most of which he hadn't heard and the only sign he had of it was the tension in the air. He sat down beside her, awkwardly putting an arm around her and that was all she needed. She threw her arms around him and silently sobbed into his robed chest, the cotton caressing her tear streaked cheek. Whatever memory this was, it wasn't something she had wanted to relive.


	12. Light And Dark

A/N: Before I started this book, I decided to have a strict reply to every review policy, somehow THAT got lost along the way. Sorry about that. Okay, I have two things to admit, One: I didn't know how to spell trey/tray, alright! Neither of them look right! I fail. So yeah. Two: I had absolutely NO idea what the memory was about. I always put myself in these situations, it had to be way worse than two unforgivable curses and extreme violence. Seriously. Why do I do this to myself? Anyway, I tried : ) Also, the Sirius quote is my favourite movie line ever. I just watched the fifth movie again and it made me so sad :'( and this chapter isn't good. Just warning you. It's a total mess but I couldn't work out why so I put it up anyway. Please review, even if it's negative, constructive criticism, eh. Love you : )

**Light and dark**

Hermione awoke alone on the sofa with his cloak over her body. She opened her eyes groggily just as he came through the door. He looked so different with his short hair and no cloak on that she almost didn't recognise him. He could easily be mistaken for a muggle right now. She wasn't sure if she liked it. He held a tray in his hand that held slightly burnt toast with badly spread butter and a glass of orange juice that was sloshing back and forth dangerously. He looked at her apologetically as he placed it on the table in front of her.

"Sorry, best I could do."

She smiled at him and took a bite of the toast. It was disgusting.

"Thank you."

He let out a small smile before it disappeared, replaced by such a serious look that she was certain she knew what he was going to say next. She swung her legs around so there was room for him on the sofa and he sat down beside her, a comfortable distance away so he didn't feel like holding her to him again, like always. He couldn't risk it right then, he needed to know.

"Miss Granger, I need you to tell me what the memory was about. He has used one unforgivable curse and intended to use another, and the fact that you are so terrified about me learning this one scares me."

He told the truth, it terrified him, and he thought this might influence her decision on whether to tell him or not. Unfortunately, it didn't. She shook her head then spoke in a whisper that he had to lean closer to hear.

"It's not... something I want you to see. I feel so bad about it..."

"Hermione, please. It might help us find him, surely that's more important than your feelings."

She shot him a look that told him this was the wrong thing to say. He put a hand on her arm, searching for something to say but she shook it off and stood up, walking over to the window. She put her hands on the window ledge and peered out.

It was mid-summer and she could see the park across from the house. There were people in it sunbathing, having picnics, swimming in the lake or simply sitting on a bench reading a book and she longed to be among them. She hadn't been able to have an ordinary life in so long, even when Voldemort was defeated she still had so much to worry about with Ron and the death eaters, then just Ron. She had never been able to fully relax and now, watching people who had such small worries and so much time to sort them out, she couldn't help but wish for another life, a simpler life, even if that meant no magic.

She could hear him whisper behind her but refused to turn.

"Legilimens."

She gave in.

_Ron stood over her, looking down at her as if she were worthless and whispered the one word that she had been begging not to hear._

"_Imperio."_

_She felt her body fall to the ground, her cheek pressed against the cold ground and her clouded eyes looking into his evil eyes. He knelt down next to her and put his face to hers, their noses touching. She wanted to move away, but she couldn't. _

"_Crookshanks!"_

_He called menacingly. _

'_No, no, no, no.'_

_She called in her head but she couldn't voice her fears. The fluffy ginger cat slowly walked into the room, unaware of any danger. It hissed at Ron, as always, and he tried to kick it but it jumped out of the way. He turned to Hermione and smirked slightly then with two words, changed her life._

"_Kill it."_

_She tried to refuse, shake her head, do anything but she couldn't. She reached out her arms to grab the bed post, stop herself getting near the cat, but it walked over to her, looking into her eyes, not noticing that anything was wrong. She reached out her hand to pet it on the head just as Ron threw a knife to her. She caught the blade side and felt it digging into her hand, dripping blood onto the cat. She looked at him one last time, trying to will him to change his mind, but he wouldn't. She couldn't stop her hand sturning the knife around and raising into the air then, with her eyes closed, she brought it down._

They were both pulled out of the vision to her loud cries. She lay on the floor, broken and collapsed, arms around her legs and head on her knees, sobbing. She looked at the long scar along her hand and told herself that she deserved it. He approached her and put a hand on her shoulder but she forced it off, refusing to let him comfort her after what he had just seen. She hated herself for that, Crookshanks had been hers for six years and she had loved the cat more than she had ever loved any other animal in her life. Ron had known this would get to her, he wanted her traumatised, he wanted to watch her fall apart, and he succeeded.

"Remember what Sirius told Harry in your fifth year Christmas break?"

She looked up slightly, surprised that he could bear to be near her, let alone comfort her, as well as surprised that he had been there that day. She had been outside the door, listening to what Sirius told Harry, but she hadn't seen him there.

"You heard that too?"

He nodded.

"You're not a bad person, you're a very good person who bad things have happened to. You understand? Besides, the world isn't split into good people and death eaters, we all have light and dark inside of us, what matters is the part we choose to act on, that's who we really are."

It was hard for him to quote his enemy in such a positive way, but he had to admit that Sirius had been right.

Hermione brought her knees up to her chest again and sobbed into them. Harry should have been the one to say this, he should be comforting her but instead he was being tortured by Ron and she had stopped Snape going to save him because she was too selfish to watch another person walk out of her life and not return. She never got the sentimental goodbye she wanted, Harry had ran, her parents had been killed before she could so much as tell them she loved them, Tonks, Lupin, Sirius, Fred, Dumbledore, Dobby, everyone she had cared about disappeared before she was able to say goodbye and now she knew why, she wouldn't have let them go if she had known.

"But I didn't choose to act on the good, I acted on the bad."

He knelt beside her.

"No you didn't, it wasn't your choice, it was his..."

"Like you said, we all have light and dark inside of us, who's to say he is bad and I am good, who's to say my side is that right side. Everyone believes their opinion is right, but what if his is?"

Severus took her hand and she didn't refuse this time.

"What he's doing _isn't _good. If you're doing the wrong thing, you _know_. When I was a death eater, I knew I was wrong every time I killed someone, there's a difference between light and dark and good and bad. If you can argue that Ron is doing the right thing, you would be arguing that Voldemort was doing the right thing."

She looked up into his dark eyes, pleading her to believe him.

"He thought he was doing the right thing."

"Did he?"

She tilted her head slightly, searching for understanding but not finding it.

"I can't be good, not after all I've done."

"Good isn't doing everything right, good is knowing when you've done something wrong, and you do know. You can't beat yourself up because you did something wrong under the imperius curse, you can be upset that you've lost your pet, you can be furious with Ron for making you do that but don't you dare be angry with yourself. You don't deserve it, you've spent your whole life doing the right thing."

She looked down.

"No I haven't. I shouldn't have stopped you going after Ron. I was being selfish, I just didn't want to lose you."

He put his finger under her chin and pulled it up, forcing her eyes to meet his.

"So if I left now you wouldn't stop me?"

Her mouth fell open and she shook her head slowly.

"Give me a few days."

He let out a small smile and nodded.

"A few days."


	13. Spend Your Whole Life Holding On

A/N: I dyed my hair, booyah, these A/Ns are slowly turning into an autobiography. Meh. I hated having to write this chapter, I really did, and I hate that you're having to read it. It's so lame. You'll understand when you get to it. This was like such an important chapter to get right and I messed it up, it took so long to put up because I was seriously considering not posting it at all but then I did, the worst that can happen is you hate it, which I'm hoping you don't. Please review, no one reviews anymore, I think my writings either getting worse or people aren't bothering to get to the end, meh. Can't please 'em all. P.S. anyone who knows where the title comes from is amazingly awesome :)

**You could spend your whole life holding on**

Those few days were the hardest. It hurt more than letting anyone else in her life go because she knew it was going to happen but she couldn't stop it, she wouldn't let herself. She was terrified that he wouldn't come back, if Ron could defeat the boy who lived, what chance did Snape have against him? She spent half her time staying away from him because she refused to get attached and the rest clinging onto him like a lost puppy. She didn't want him to go and the more tears he saw in her eyes, the more he regretted the decision.

It amazed her that he was doing this for Harry, who he had always despised. She hated herself for always thinking he was such a horrible person when he was prepared to risk his life for someone he didn't even like.

He was leaving the next day. They sat on the sofa in the library together, her head on his shoulder as she read a book but couldn't take any of it in. She was reading one line again and again, trying to take it in, when he spoke, his voice so full of emotion that it brought tears to her eyes.

"If I don't come back..."

She threw the book to the floor, the loud bang making him jump, and turned to face him, his arm falling from around her shoulder. She placed her finger on his lips.

"You're coming back."

He spoke in a muffled tone through the finger that was constricting him.

"But if I don't. As soon as I'm gone tomorrow, I'm sending someone to look after you. If I'm not back in a week he'll take you to a safer house."

She looked confused and distraught at the thought that he wouldn't come back. He forced his eyes away from her face, he didn't want to see her like this.

"Who, there's no one left that cares."

It broke his heart that this was true. The war seemed to be pointless now, so many lives had been lost that the people worth fighting for were mostly gone.

"You'll get mad at me if I tell you. I don't want you to hate me."

She leaned close so their foreheads were touching and whispered, her sweet breath against his face.

"I could never hate you."

He entwined his fingers with hers and she looked down at them, so close for maybe the last time. He pressed his cold lips to her forehead and she shuddered, longing to touch her lips to his. She fell sideways onto his lap and he put a hand on her back to steady her just as she put an arm around his neck. Their eyes locked and her eyes filled when she remembered what he was doing. This was all her fault.

"Don't go. If anyone should go, it should be me."

"Don't even think about it. Hermione, promise you won't do anything to put yourself in danger."

She tilted her head slightly and smiled. He couldn't help but notice how adorable she looked when she did that. She looked so young and vulnerable.

"You called me Hermione."

He leant down so his face was inches from hers and explored her face for any kind of objection to what he was about to do but found none. Their foreheads touched and she could feel his cold nose on her cheek, like ice. Once again, he searched her eyes for any sign that she didn't want this to happen. He couldn't deal with rejection again, especially from her. Lily had been pretty, she had been nice, sometimes even brave but she had been lacking something. Hermione managed to be everything Lily was and also had what Lily didn't have, fire. She knew what she wanted and she would not give up. Rejection from Lily had all but killed him, he couldn't imagine what it would be like from Hermione. Luckily, her eyes told him she wanted it as much as he did. He let his lips touch hers finally. They both felt the kick of electricity through their veins, the feeling of satisfaction and... belonging. They pulled back and looked into each other's eyes, confused. He knew what this was, he had heard about it, wished for it, but not right now. A soul bond. It was the worst time to realise that she had been meant for him, that if he had known before they could have been together for longer. He was so glad she didn't understand, that would be even worse, she wouldn't let him go. He wondered if he really had to go, but then reprimanded himself for even thinking like that. She leant in to continue the kiss and he could not pull away, however hard he tried. Her lips joined to his and he felt like the puzzle piece that had always been missing was finally there, he was whole, it didn't matter that this couldn't last all he could think of was that she completed him. She put her other hand into his newly short hair. She decided that she liked it like this.

He finally found the willpower to pull back and put his forehead against hers as they both caught their breath. Neither had felt anything like that, ever, and despite the fact that they feared it, they couldn't deny that they never wanted it to end. He took her beautiful face into his large hands and looked her in the eyes, forcing himself not to drown in them and look at her seriously, he couldn't let her see the tears fill his eyes as he whispered the spell that would make her forget all of this.

"Obliviate."

She fell backwards and he caught her, picking her up then laying her down on the sofa carefully. Snape pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her on the forehead, lingering a little longer than he should have. She opened her eyes slowly, looking confused.

"What happened?"

He sat down on the arm rest of the sofa and put his head in his hands.

"You fell asleep."

It killed him to lie. He forced his eyes open to stop the tears falling, Snape never cried. She sat up unsteadily and put a hand on his arm.

"Severus, are you alright?"

He shook her hand off. The rejection was more than she could stand after all this waiting and she recoiled in shock.

"Professor Snape, Miss Granger, it's Professor Snape."

The words were worse, they shot at her like knifes, piercing her heart. She stood up quickly and cast one last glance at him, ignoring the tears that now fell down her cheeks. She loomed over him and he looked up, jumping slightly when he realised how close she was and cowering under her angry glare. Each step forward she took he pushed himself back further until he could move no more.

"You listen to me, Severus Tobias Snape, you may be leaving tomorrow to save Harry, but you are _not _a hero so stop acting like your better than everyone else. You're not my teacher anymore, and I'm not your student, so I can finally say what I think, you're an arrogant bully and you try to hide the fact that you have any feeling whatsoever, but I can see through all that, Severus, I know you can hurt too. You can't let the fact that you got rejected before stop you from trying again, you can't let..."

"If I were you, I'd stop right now Miss Granger."

He snarled at her but she simply lowered her voice and let her features soften slightly before finishing her sentence.

"... Lily Potter ruin your life. Severus, I feel something for you I've never felt before and I know you feel it too. We're both scared, but you can't just pretend nothing's happening. You're better than that."

She placed her hand beside his head on the cushion and let herself fall towards him slightly. He swung his legs over the armrest of the sofa and ducked under her arm, pulling himself up so he was standing. She turned to face him, the hurt evident on her face, too much for him to bear.

"Do not even pretend to know me, Miss Granger. You know nothing..."

That hurt. There was nothing he could have said that would hurt more than that, nothing except what he said next.

"... and I don't know what you mean. I feel nothing for you."

She felt the tears sting in her eyes again, but this time the anger didn't appear. She took one last look at him, forgetting that it might be her last, and turned to the door, storming out before he had the chance to say anything, not that he would have.

He sunk down onto the sofa, letting his head fall into his arms which rested on his knees. He consoled himself in the fact that he had to do that, surely it would hurt her less to hate him, if he didn't come back at least she could remember what he had said and tell herself he wasn't worth it. However, this didn't make it hurt any less.

She threw herself onto her bed, her face in her arms as she sobbed. How could he? She thought he had cared, she thought she had finally found someone worthy of trusting, maybe even loving, but he had turned out just like the rest, he didn't care about her, but at least Ron and Viktor had pretended to for a while. She felt mortified for all the advances she had made towards him and terrified of seeing him again but most of all she was hurt. She felt led on despite the fact that he had never told her that he liked her and confused about all the mixed signal he had given her. She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, sniffing slightly and managed to fall asleep through the tears and pain.


	14. Get Up And Go

A/N: Rowans muse: No idea why you didn't sign your review but I'm just going to ignore that. Thanks for the advice, you're right, I do tend to rush things. He erased her memory because he didn't want her to remember the kiss, he wanted her to think he hated her and you can't exactly do that after kissing them. He didn't want her to remember what she felt because she could look it up in a book (which she definitely would) and find out about soul bonds which was exactly what he didn't want her to do because he doesn't want her to go after him. Sorry for not making it clear enough, I tend to run away with things without thinking about it. I'll take what you said on board for future writing, thanks for the review : ) and that goes for you all : ) Think I'm gunna cut this book short, it's a load of shit. I'm thinking of doing NaNoWriMo but I've got my mocks so it's really awkward timing. If not, I might just start another fan fic. I also have a lot of other actual books on hold now while I'm doing this, I actually just started this because of writers block but now I'm getting it with this and it just doesn't seem worth forcing it. I'll come back when I've got any clue what to do next but until then... I had an idea for the start of this chapter so I'm just going to go with it then leave it there.

**Get up and go**

She awoke slowly but refused to open her eyes, she could feel the sunlight on her cheeks, drying the remnants of last night's tears. Suddenly, the light was blocked out. She thought the sun had gone in, then she finally opened her eyes and saw the large figure standing in front of her. He leant down over her, his long blonde hair tickling her face.

"Get up, Mudblood!"


	15. None Of It Was Ever Worth The Risk

A/N: Okay, I'm a liar. I started reading deathly hallows again and I was like hey, this is awesome (like I didn't already know?) Then I was like, seriously why am I stopping, mocks are MOCKS they're not REAL exams, I mean if I was planning on moving schools for year 12 they would matter a whole lot but I'm not. I give up on things too often so I was like no, you can't give up on this, and also I sort of got over my mental block and worked out what should happen next : ). And the reviews were lovely and I was like *sniffs* awww. So yeah, I'm going to carry on the last chapter I posted. Sorry for all the trouble, I promise I'll never say that again : S Once again, if you know what the song is, you are awesome. No one guessed the last one. I can't believe no one else is a boys like girls fan girl :'(

**None of it was ever worth the risk**

She awoke slowly but refused to open her eyes, she could feel the sunlight on her cheeks, drying the remnants of last night's tears. Suddenly, the light was blocked out. She thought the sun had gone in, then she finally opened her eyes and saw the large figure standing in front of her. He leant down over her, his long blonde hair tickling her face.

"Get up, Mudblood!"

A snarl tainted his face but she could see the slight shock as she stumbled out of bed and grabbed the wand from her bed side table, pointing it at his chest from the other side of the bed.

"He didn't tell you?"

She looked confused suddenly but snapped out of it when he raised his wand to her.

"Expelliarmus"

She whispered before he could so much as say a word. The wand flew out of his hand and onto the floor across the room, rolling under her dressing table. He had been a death eater, he could easily perform simple wandless magic, call the wand back to him, or even just fight her without magic, but he remembered what Snape had said and stopped himself.

"You have thirty seconds to tell me what you are doing here before I kill you."

He widened his eyes at her, curious as to when the girl had become so confident, but humoured her.

"Snape sent me."

He saw the tears well up into her eyes at the sound of his name before the fierce look returned.

"Then you can go, I have no interests in doing what that bastard wands."

Lucius had to hold back the slight smile that threatened to overcome his smirk.

"I'd watch my language if I were you, Miss Granger."

The tears in her eyes threatened to spill over and her grip on her wand strengthened.

"Don't you care call me Miss Granger."

He tilted his head slightly, looking down his nose at the girl.

"Where have you got this confidence from all of a sudden, Mudblood."

She growled slightly under her breath at the use of the derogatory term but she forced herself to control her temper.

"I don't care anymore, go on, kill me."

She called his wand over to her without looking then threw it to him, but he didn't reach out to catch it and it clattered onto the floor.

"I've been made to come here and protect you, and I will keep my promise."

She narrowed her eyes at him and he had the decency to look nervous.

"Made? What does he have against you?"

Lucius sighed and began to pace. Her eyes followed him anxiously, waiting for him to return to his old self. True, his walk was still as majestic and self involved as it had always been but his eyes didn't contain the evil that they always had.

"He helped Draco in his time of need and it appears you mean as much to him as Draco does to me. Anyway, I had nothing better to do, this is much more fun than working off my debts for all that I did as a death eater, and as for that..."

He gestured haphazardly to the wand, which she now noticed wasn't _his _wand, no, Voldemort had taken his and destroyed his, it was a ministry wand. She remembered an article she had read after the downfall of the death eaters. Those who had agreed to come quietly, after a yearlong sentence in Azkaban, were to do a wizard version of community service, which was admittedly much more strenuous and they were observed closely whilst doing it.

"... it can only do first year spells so it would be no use even if I did want to kill you, which I don't. Besides, I was quite close with Snape and you mean a lot to him so killing you would not be advantageous to me."

She scoffed and he looked at her curiously down his nose, tilting his head slightly and his long, blonde hair falling to one side.

"I assure you, I meant nothing to him. He said so himself."

He turned and looked out of the window thoughtfully, hands on the window sill. She kept her wand raised as she sat on the bed. The creaking made him turn his head slightly and he saw her cross legged on the bed with her wand still pointed at him.

"Severus never was good with his feelings."

He turned back and continued looking out of the window, although it held nothing of interest. He hated people watching him, it made him nervous, although he would never tell anyone.

"He told me I knew nothing."

He was glad that she couldn't see his face as the slight smile formed on his lips, the first in a long time.

"He told the well known know-it-all that she knew nothing? Now I know he's lying."

They stayed silent for a few moments, then he realised she wasn't going to speak and began to make his way out of the room. Just as he opened the door, she spoke.

"Lucius?"

He turned, ignoring the insolence of her using his first name, they were both adults now. He looked at her questioningly and she opened her mouth, forcing the words that had been running through her head for months out.

"I'm scared."

She couldn't remember the last time she had told anyone that, and his response was perfect. He nodded slightly, not quite knowing what to say, then walked out of the room, closing the door silently behind him.


	16. Wasted And Wasting Away

**A/N: I'M DOING NANOWRIMO. Sorry. probably won't be posting for a month if I succeed xD Also, this chapter's so short because I really have to get back to writing... and revising for 11 exams next week... my life sucks, yeah.**

**If you don't know what WKD is, it's flavoured vodka. It's real good, but some people don't react well with too much (yeah, I know someone who had so much he fell asleep in a bush.) On that lovely note... here's the next chapter : ) Sorry it's so terrible, I had to write this in literally five minutes but I couldn't just not write for a month and not tell you about it.**

**You've been hiding for days wasted and wasting away**

She didn't come down for breakfast or lunch. By dinner he was sort of worried, although he would never admit it to anyone. When he heard her footsteps approaching the door he let out a sign of relief, but it didn't last long. She walked straight past him without so much as glancing his way, opened the fridge, took out a large box which rattled noisily when she walked and said WKD on the side, closed the fridge door then walked out again. Her clothes were crumpled and he could see the tear stains on her face but he said nothing. Her hair looked even more untameable than it had when he had seen her this morning and she swayed unsteadily as she walked. The door slammed behind her but she didn't seem to care. He heard her walk up the stairs and the distant bang of her door closing, then he heard nothing for hours. He had his head on his arms which rested on the table, his eyes drifting shut and he was almost asleep when he heard a dull thud from the direction of her room.

He had never moved so fast in his life, he didn't even believe himself capable anymore, Lucius Malfoy never ran, but at that moment he forgot his pride and ran three steps at a time to her room. He didn't bother to knock, just swung the door open, his useless wand raised to meet any intruder. However, he found no intruder, in fact he couldn't see Hermione at first. It wasn't until he looked down that he saw her curled up on the floor, arms around her legs and seemingly unconscious. He bent down and shook her shoulder slightly, then harder. He was getting worried when eventually her eyes snapped open. He pulled back as he saw how haunted and empty they were.

"Lucius, I think I love him."

They stared at each other for a few seconds, him with a completely blank expression and her face displaying enough emotion for the both of them, then the moment was over as she turned away from him and threw up on the floor. He stood up and brushed himself down, summoning a sobering potion and cleaning up the mess with a well placed Tergeo, then reluctantly helping her into bed where she immediately fell asleep. He stood there for a couple of minutes watching her sleep before shaking himself and walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.

He didn't know what it was about that girl but everyone seemed to like her, even Draco had once told him that if she wasn't a mud blood she would be surprisingly attractive.

He sat down outside her door, keeping his promise to look after her, and a newfound promise to himself.


	17. I Know It's Not Easy

**A/N: Okay, I'm ahead of my NaNoWriMo schedule and, although I haven't hit the inevitable wall that comes with writing any book in it, I feel like I want a quick change. My other reasoning is that I'm seeing Deathly Hallows in eleven days, the first showing (in the UK...), and I'm incredibly excited! So this isn't that good, I'm still in my NaNoWriMo mindset (which is going really well by the way, thanks for asking, imaginary conversations rule eh). The other reason that I did this is that having no emails is really depressing and I miss getting reviews... a lot. Life just isn't the same, *sigh*. And yes, that is a hint. I love you. Actually. To prove my love, I'm giving you the privilege of seeing the most amazing you tube video ever. Go onto you tube and type in literal harry potter and the deathly hallows parody. It's the actual most amazing thing ever. Thanks for reading.**

**I know it's not easy**

She dragged herself up in the morning, only getting up so she could make herself a glass of water and go back to bed. However, she forgot all about her motive as she saw Lucius outside the door, his head against the wall as he snored quietly. His blonde hair was hanging towards the ground and she could see his face. In sleep he looked so peaceful, as if no prejudice could exist within or around him. A slight smile tainted his usually pursed lips which made him look much less threatening, even slightly approachable. It disturbed her. She was about to wake him up when the snoring stopped and he spoke.

"Don't stare, Miss Granger, it's rude."

He raised his head and stood up again so that he didn't seem so level with her. He once again went from being slightly relatable to the man he had always been, the man who would look down at her and whisper mud blood as she walked past. He was related to Draco after all. She looked down uncomfortably, trying to remember what had happened last night to make it necessary for him to sleep outside of her room but for some reason she couldn't manage. He saw her struggling and smirked in a very Malfoy way.

"Let me help, Miss Granger, you drunk what I can only assume was an unacceptable amount of alcohol, fell out of bed, passed out, confessed your love for our beloved potions master and then threw up over the floor."

She put her palm to her hand then shook herself, calling all courage she had owned as one of the infamous Golden Trio, although even thinking about it sent a shiver down her spine.

"Thank you for helping me, Mr Malfoy, we all have our bad moments however so I would appreciate it if you could forget mine. Now if you'll excuse me, I could do with a glass of water."

She began to walk away before her face could betray any emotions but then as he spoke she froze.

"I'd bet you do."

She turned around slowly then was in front of him in a matter of seconds, wand to his chest. He pushed himself as far back against the wall as he could but she had him cornered.

"You mention any of last night to anyone and I swear..."

He looked slightly amused but she could see in his eyes that he understood. Before she could move herself however, he asked her the one question that made her as uncomfortable as she could truly be.

"Is it true that you love him?"

She took a step back and removed her wand, not only because he no longer posed a threat but also because his question surprised her, this wasn't a question he would ever had asked before, although the possible questions he would have asked her before would have been limited to insulting statements followed by "do you agree?" to which she would have to reply the affirmative. Instead of answering sarcastically or not answering at all, which she would have done if it had been anyone else, she somehow felt that she had to be truthful, as if she owed it to him for some strange reason.

"I don't know."

He nodded as if he understood, maybe he did. She backed up then turned and walked downstairs, thinking about the real answer to that question.

Did she love Severus, _could _she? She couldn't deny the feelings she had for him but _love_? She had never loved anyone in her life and when she had finally sort of decided she did love him he had told her he felt nothing for her. She felt the familiar stab of pain as she told herself no, you don't love him.

Meanwhile, Severus looked for Ron. Some days he would find a clue, or come up with a new idea of where to look but most of the time he was alone with his thoughts. He searched until it was too dark too see then he would put up a tent and reconvene the next day at sunrise. He had some major catching up to do, he had given in to Hermione's wishes for him to stay too many times so had let Ron slip through his fingers. At the thought of Hermione he once again felt the sharp pain in his heart. The very few hours of sleep he got had been haunted by nightmares of her face as he had told her he felt nothing for her, and unnerving ideas of how she and Lucius were getting on. He had assumed that she would been a challenge but Lucius was the only person that he could so much as consider would be up for it. He knew how much she hated Lucius though, that's why he hadn't told her. He couldn't deal with her hating him but it was too late for that. He sighed as he reminded himself for the hundredth time that he had to make her hate him, she wouldn't have let him go otherwise. He shook the nagging fear that she may have escaped, telling himself over and over again that his wards had been strong enough, she couldn't get out and Ron couldn't get in. The idea of Ron being anywhere near her made his stomach lurch. He asked himself what he had become, so reliant on another human being, so obsessed, so... like he was with Lily. He wouldn't let her be killed though, if anyone died it would be him and he was completely prepared for that. As much as he forced himself to deny it, she was the reason he lived. It had been okay after the war, even though he had no reason to live he could throw himself into his work without anyone to distract him from his thoughts. Now, however, she was in his thoughts constantly and he knew he couldn't deal with it if he let her die.

He finally arrived at Godric's hollow and forced all these thoughts out of his mind and prepared himself to enter the room. He had been having this foreboding that something would be here ever since he had thought of it as a potential hiding place and it was getting even stronger as he slowly opened the creaking door to the house that Lily Potter had lived in, and died in. The hallway was dark and gave away nothing but before he could so much as take a step through the door, he heard the terrible yelling.

"Stupefy.


	18. So Let's Go Put Up A Fight

**A/N: All of my chapter headings at the moment are from the song Go by Boys Like Girls, it's an amazing song, and that's coming from a total you me at six, all time low, paramore fan so anyone who likes that kind of music would be like woah. Just saying. So yeah, I know, I know, I'm meant to be writing my nanowrimo but I had a sudden rush of ideas for this one so I was like screw it : ) and also, reviews really get to me and I was like meh, I can catch up on nanowrimo later, people apparently don't like suspense? Personally I think it's refreshing : ) So this chapter doesn't have much description etc. because I really don't have enough time for that considering how far being on nanowrimo I am, but hey, at least I got a chapter up at all : )**

**So let's go put up a fight**

"What are you doing here?"

Snape's voice came out more scornfully than he intended but after all, he had just been stupefied and sitting on the floor wasn't the most dignified position for him. A hand shot out to help him up but he eyed it with disgust and pulled himself up. He brushed down his robes and picked his rucksack off the floor, looking carefully at his attacker.

"Sorry, didn't want anyone to see me here."

He waved his wand and the door slammed.

"What are you doing here?"

Snape repeated his question with more force this time and the other man finally complied.

"I had to find somewhere to put them and I knew no one was here so..."

Snape narrowed his eyes at his former pupil and gestured for him to elaborate.

"I found Ron and Harry."

Snape jumped slightly but tried unsuccessfully to not show his anger on his face.

"Where are they, Draco?"

He said nothing but his eyes drifted to the stairs. The boy looked somewhat more tired that he had before, and much less superior. Snape could see that he was trying to do the right thing for once and hoped that Draco wouldn't pay for that, being nice for the first time wasn't easy, especially if it went wrong. Before Snape could escape though, Draco put his hand on his former professor's arm.

"Severus, I have to warn you, Ron has set a shielding spell around himself and Harry. I only just managed to transport them here before it was put in place. The only reason they haven't escaped yet is that I have locked all of the windows and am guarding this door. Be careful, he's more dangerous than I believed he was capable of. He's not the Weasley in hand me down robes anymore, trust me, we underestimated him."

Snape sighed as once again was made to feel as inferior as possible. He should have seen it coming.

"I know. Stay here."

Draco looked as if he was going to refuse but after seeing the look in Snape's eyes changed his mind. He watched the elder man rush up the stairs and sighed, it was Snape's turn to play hero after so long as the villain. Even after the war, when everyone was told the story of how Snape had been a spy and was one of the most important reasons for the success, he never quite got the credit he deserved. If he got away with this, however, there would be no disputing it, he would be a hero and even Draco could tell he needed that satisfaction after all he had been through.

Snape made his way up the stairs, a thousand thoughts running through his head but a plan still managing to form at the same time. The only problem was Hermione, he couldn't hurt her, he refused. That seemed the only option right now though.

He threw open the door to reveal Ron lying on a bed, wand lazing pointed at Harry who sat destroyed against a wall. All fire had gone from his eyes, even when he looked up at Snape he could find no hope. Ron's eyes, however, were tainted with anger and a slight, distant fear. He knew he was much weaker that Voldemort, yet Voldemort had somehow been defeated. He wouldn't give in without a fight though.

As soon as Snape entered, he sat up quickly and pointed his wand straight at the professor's chest.

"Lower your wand, Mr Weasley."

He smirked, giving the look of a deranged killer.

"You're not my teacher anymore, Snape, you can't tell me what to do."

Ron, comforted by the fact that he had set an adequate shield around himself and his former best friend, felt as if he could say what he liked. He did not, however, count on what the man said next.

"I want to make a deal with you, Mr Weasley."

Ron tilted his head slightly, intrigued by the offer that he was extremely unlikely to take.

"You see, Miss Granger,"

It felt so strange to call her that again.

"She may like Harry as a best friend, but I can prove to you that she may like me as more."

Ron scoffed, but couldn't put it past Hermione.

"Why would she like a greasy old man like you."

Instead of getting angry, which he would have done any other time, Snape stayed calm, knowing it would be necessary if he could so much as think of getting away with this.

"Oh I don't know, maybe she's fed up of immature boys who abuse her or discard her as if she is worthless, maybe she needs someone to see her for who she really is, an intelligent, beautiful young woman who would be capable of anything if people like you weren't intent on destroying her. Maybe, Mr Weasley, the fact that I'm a greasy old man doesn't matter to her, maybe she's realised appearances aren't everything. And maybe, just maybe, she's managed to let someone else into her life despite the fact that she's been hurt time and time again by people who she thought she could trust. After all, if seven years does not give you the correct judgement of a person, a few weeks might just give her the right one."

Ron looked furious, but refused to act yet, still curious about Snape's proposition.

"So, if we are over the questioning of Hermione's feelings, which I'm sure have never factored into your actions before, I'd like to move on to my proposal. Me for Harry. You're intention is to hurt her and how better to do it than by killing the man she loves."

He saw the slight fear in Ron's eyes.

"She loves you?"

Snape nodded his head slowly, suddenly wondering whether this was such a good idea, but it was too late to turn back now. Besides, she would get over him eventually, she had to.

He feared that Ron would ask him to show the memories, he wasn't prepared to be seen as vulnerable by anyone but her, but he seemed to be believed. Ron grabbed Harry by his collar and he stood, limping painfully on a foot that was twisted in an unnatural position. Ron threw him towards Snape, who steadied him with one arm, not quite ready for affection yet. Harry looked up, pleading the professor not to do this but unable to speak.

"Mr Potter, go and find her, comfort her, and take Draco with you, you should know where she is."

Snape gave him a wide eyed look, trying to hint at her location but Harry couldn't work it out. Snape gave him a slight push towards the door and Harry toppled towards it, finally remembering all that had happened to him in the last few weeks. This was his chance to escape and he forgot about all that Snape had given up for him, taking the chance to run. He thought about not taking his orders concerning Draco, but then reminded himself of how selfish that was to the man who had just saved him. He limped up to Draco and leaned against a wall momentarily.

"Draco, he told me to take you with me."

Draco looked shocked and worried. Harry never considered how close Snape and Draco were but when he thought back on it, he realised how much they had both gotten along. However, Draco couldn't deny the order, and he dragged Harry out of the door slightly before dissapparating.

Harry looked around. They were outside an iron gate.

"Where are we?"

Draco shrugged his shoulders.

"My house. I couldn't think of where she would be."

Harry allowed a slight smile to appear on his face for the first time in the months.

"I might know."


	19. Be Strong

**A/N: Mocks over, NaNo failing miserably, three day hangover (yes... I drunk far too much...), only three hours of sleep in four days, thumb injured (I accidently cut it on a bottle lid. Don't ask.) , fanfic here I come : ) Well, I found "write or die" which encourages you to write more and it was amazing. However, I'm not the cleverest tool in the box and for some reason I chose to write 498 words in 10 minutes. I managed it somehow with 10 seconds to spare, then I wondered why it was so difficult and so I whipped out my calculator (as you do) and it tells me that I had challenged myself to write one word about every 0.8 seconds. Anyway, that kind of brought up my word count and then I realised... my story has literally gone nowhere. I have gotten through over a third of the story and still not introduced the real plot idea, this has just been introducing the characters. God, I'm such an idiot. So yeah, this is such a ridiculously short update. It's actually barely anything. I don't know why I even bothered to update. Maybe to show off about my NaNo word increase? Naw, and to be fair I'm over 10 000 words behind xD This author note is actually longer than the update itself. What a fail. I LOVE YOU 3**

**Be Strong**

"How did you know?"

Harry almost didn't hear Draco in his eagerness to get into the house. He could see Hermione's silhouette in the window and realised how much he had risked for her, how this was all his fault. He needed a hug right now, and he wasn't about to ask Draco.

"This was our hideaway for a while. I just couldn't think of anywhere else she would be."

He could see Draco was about to answer another question and didn't want to do this right now, so he pushed past the other boy and knocked on the door. Even though he was allowed in, he didn't want to impose. The door flew open to reveal Lucius Malfoy standing threateningly at the threshold. Harry gasped as he saw Draco's father but this was nothing compared to Draco's reaction. After seeing his father in there he raised his wand, the anger on his face trying unsuccessfully to mask the fear.

"What are you doing here, father? Here to kill some more muggle borns?"

Lucius looked slightly amused which further stirred his son's fire of anger. Lucius knew that his son couldn't hurt him, not only because of the wards that prevented any spells getting through but also because he could tell the threat was empty.

"No, I'm here to save one actually, you?"


	20. Losing That Brave Face

**A/N: Must... get... away... from... NaNo. I finally reached the halfway point (I'm behind, okay! No biggie xD I WILL WIN : ) ) Too much writing for one day, so hey, fan fic. Good idea? Atchu (I just sneezed) So I watched Deathly Hallows on Friday. It was amazing. Best film so far, I swear, but then again it was the best film so far. I cried so much, literally, sobbing everywhere, even though I knew what was going to happen. You know your life is depressing when you spend your Friday nights in floods of tears because of a film (an amazing film, but still essentially just a film)**

**Losing that brave face**

"Harry."

Hermione threw her arms around her long lost friend and he threw his around her. She stroked his hair and when she brought her hand away it was red with blood. She pulled back slightly and looked into his eyes, shocked and scared, but he just smiled sadly at her, afraid of the inevitable question that was soon to come. She pulled him further into the house and up to the library where she sat him down on the sofa and began to heal the wounds on his arms and legs. Finally, when she could do no more safely, she sat down next to him cross legged, facing him but trying not to notice how awful and tired he looked.

"So... what happened?"

They both knew that all that was really on her mind was Snape but she was afraid of the answer to any question concerning him.

"I tried to catch him but he was stronger than I though and he... captured me I guess. Anyway, what's been happening with you?"

She could tell that he really didn't want to talk about it and she couldn't blame him, after all she had experienced what Ron was capable of so she knew the last few weeks had probably been the hardest of his life, well, except maybe their time running from Voldemort, but even then he hadn't been a hostage, he hadn't been tortured quite as much. Hermione said nothing for a few moments, just looked into his haunted eyes, and finally he could take the sad look on her face no longer.

"Look, Snape... he saved me. He agreed to exchange himself for me. I tried to refuse, but I couldn't speak, I hurt too much. I'm so sorry Hermione, I should have tried harder..."

She shook her head slightly although he could see the tears forming in her eyes already. When the first fell down her cheek and she brushed it away angrily, he pulled her into his arms, ignoring the pain that went along with such sudden movement.

"I don't know what happened between you and him, Hermione, but I could tell you meant a lot to him. He wouldn't have done this if you didn't."

She nodded slightly, unable to speak. She had thought he hadn't cared and now she finally found out that he did, just a couple of days too late. She let out the first sob and then she couldn't stop and Harry didn't want her to, he knew that she needed this is she was ever to get over Snape. The man repulsed him, they had always hated each other, and yet Snape had risked his life for the son of his most hated enemy? How much must he have loved Hermione for him to do that? Enough to never see her again, enough to give her a best friend and possibly get himself killed. He had to admit, even though it was a stupid thing to do, it was chivalrous. Harry would have found humour in the idea of Snape on a white horse riding to Hermione's rescue in any other situation, but this wasn't any other situation, this was his best friend needing him. She had spent so much of her life comforting him, now she needed someone to rely on and he was perfectly willing to be that person.

Over her shoulder, he saw Draco enter the room, look at the two of them, nod sadly and then turn to leave. He looked slightly confused but ultimately understanding of how upset she was and how much she didn't need him coming in and ruining their moment right now. She wailed suddenly and tightened her grip around him so he held on tighter, letting her find comfort in him as he tried desperately not to think of what had happened in the last few weeks.

He would get his revenge on Ron, but not just yet, not until Hermione was okay again.


	21. We Were Close But Still So Far

**A/N: Okay, so NaNo is over (don't ask) so I really should get back to my fanfic. Yet I still don't feel like it. Funny that. Anyway, I'm going to cut this author note short because I owe you an update after a ridiculously long time away. But just for the record, I don't like this chapter. Also, brownie points if you know the song in the title. Just saying. **

**We were close but still so far**

Harry looked back at Hermione one last time. On her bedside table sat a picture of his old professor, although there was something different about him. It took Harry a while to work it out but then he finally looked at the man's eyes, they held a life that he had never seen in them, the short fire of hope, the fire that had been extinguished by the time he had last seen the man. A slight smile seemed to threaten to play on the man's lips but he obviously managed to control it in fear of looking too... unSnape. He looked slightly to the side of the camera, unaware that the picture was being taken, if he would have been aware it wouldn't have been taken in the first place to be fair. One look at the picture and Harry could see what Hermione had meant to Snape, and one look at Hermione told Harry how much Snape had meant to her. However disgusting he found it that Hermione would fall for someone so old and so... Snape, he couldn't deny that this was the best thing for her right now, she needed him and Harry wasn't about to get in the way of that, in fact, he was just about to _save _that. One look at the sleeping Hermione told him she was not okay, occasionally a tear would fall down her face and she would let out a small whimper but most of the time she just looked so... depressed. Once he had even heard her whisper Severus, a small, quiet voice, pleading for him to come back to her, but to no avail. Harry, not only struggling with the guilt but also completely unable to see his friend suffer, had waited until he had regained his strength and his wounds had been healed unwillingly by Lucius, then had begun training. It was now a fortnight after he had come back and he could wait no longer. He was unable to gage whether he was stronger than Ron yet but could leave it no longer as the longer he left it the further away Ron could run and he wasn't willing to give up without a fight. He closed her door silently, wishing that he would be able to open it again soon with a surprise that would finally put a smile on her face, and tiptoed down the stairs then to the front door. Just as he was opening it, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around swiftly, pointing his wand at the intruder.

Draco's hands flew up, but he wasn't at all surprised by the defensive actions. He could tell what Harry wanted to do and this wasn't the time to be caught sneaking out. When Harry saw who it was, he lowered his wand but the scowl on his face remained.

"What is it, Malfoy?"

Draco smirked slightly. Even after saving the other boy, they hadn't become friends, not even close. They were barely civil towards one another, although they mainly just stayed out of each other's way instead of purposefully being mean to one another.

"I want to come with you."

Harry was taken aback by this. Malfoy never did anything to help unless it benefitted him. Draco noticed the surprise and sighed.

"Weasel has it coming to him, I was never going to turn down the chance to get rid of that scum once and for all."

Draco would never admit that he was doing this because he had let himself change. His father had always been his role model but then he had finally grown up and realised that he needed to follow his own path, and this was what he wanted to do right now so he let himself for once.

Harry was about to refuse but then thought better of it. He needed all the help he could get, although he wouldn't ask for it because he knew Hermione needed someone to look after her when he was gone and also he didn't want to risk so many people's lives. He knew that if he got the ministry on his side, Ron would get even bigger and angrier. Also, Harry had always had that hero complex of course. He nodded to the other boy in agreement and satisfaction flooded through Draco, along with the inevitable amount of fear, for no way would this be easy.

Hermione woke up to the familiar sound of Lucius opening the door to her room and striding in. She groaned and her eyes opened slowly, but when she saw his face she sat up suddenly, all tiredness worn off.

"What is it Lucius?"

She could see a slight pain in his eyes that he was unable to hide, as well as regret.

"They're gone. Harry and Draco."

And all of a sudden, the world fell out from under her. She had lost everything once again, but the knowing what it felt like already did nothing except make it worse, deepen the stabbing pain in her heart. If she had been standing she would have crumpled to the floor but as it was, she grabbed her knees for support and let her head fall against them, letting out a short sob and to her surprise she felt a hand on her back as well as hearing the creak of the bed as he sat down behind her. Before she could think about what she was doing, she twisted around so that her head was on his lap and after a moment, she felt his hand stroking her hair, so lightly she could almost not feel it, but it was there.

For the thousandth time in the last few days, Ron's foot connected with Snape's head. Severus let out an excruciating cry, the urge to hold back proof of any pain from the boy gone long ago.

"Where is she?"

Ron snarled but Snape said nothing, just opened his eyes slightly, looking first at the pool of dark red blood on the floor before him, his blood, and then up at the boy. Their eyes locked for a moment before Ron looked away, unable to look at the man. Snape let out a slight smile, knowing that Hermione would be safe if he had anything to say about it, and after all, that's all that mattered to him.


	22. I Am Not What You Are

**A/N: Yeah, I got some massive YM6 poster and spent about ten minutes trying to put it up, so what. Best band ever, like. Yeah, imma get back to writing. Sorry this has been going a bit slow lately. I'm having problems getting inspiration. And I had a history coursework exam and sixth form applications. Yeah.**

**I am not what you are, flawless in every way**

Draco and Harry apparated to where they had last seen Ron in the hope that it would hold a hint as to which way it went, but it held so much more than that. From where they stood, through the burnt curtains, they could see Ron standing over a hunched figure that was most probably Snape. Draco turned slightly to see a smirk grow on Harry's face.

"Idiot."

He didn't like the sound of that but before he could say or do anything, the boy began to walk towards the door, stealthily but still full of anger. He pulled at the door, which was already slightly open, and tiptoed up the stairs, follow half heartedly by Draco. Finally he reached the door, and leaned against the frame, trembling slightly at the sight before him but trying to keep it together.

His old potion master on the floor, head in his hands, blood covering the floor beneath him and soaking his black robes. He was all but dead, and as his eyes met Harry they could show nothing but pain. The crutiatus curse had been used on him too many times evidently, Harry knew how that felt, but he didn't expect what he saw next. The professors lips pressed together in anger, and for a moment Harry could not work out why, but then he remembered. This man had given up his life for him, and now he was coming back. Snape had risked everything and would gain nothing for it, but Harry could not find it in his heart to feel bad. He knew Hermione needed Snape and if that meant himself dying then so be it. He had lived long enough, and always been the hero, this was no time to change. He looked away from Snape and upwards until his eyes met those of his former best friend.

"You were stupid to stay here, Ronald, you should have gotten out while you had the chance."

Ron smirked slightly at this.

"Oh, I will, but not until I destroy you, and your greasy friend. Oh, and you brought a little snake for me. Where's daddy, Malfoy? Or has Hermione brain washed you as well?"

Malfoy snarled but said nothing, that didn't deserve an answer.

"Where is that little know it all, by the way, at home reading a book? Too scared to come out and fight me, or didn't you tell her, the same as you refused to tell me where she was. I haven't forgotten her, Potter, after I've destroyed you all, I will find her, and she will be mine."

Harry lowered his voice, trying to control his temper, and looked down, breaking eye contact with Ron, to see Snape clenching his fists and struggling to keep himself on the floor, although even if he had wanted to get up, he probably wouldn't have been able to.

"I will never let that happen, Ron, and as for destroying me, must I remind you that it's three against one, and I like our odds."

Ron let out a short, evil laugh, and then nodded towards Snape.

"I've already destroyed one of your troops, and don't forget Harry, I know how to get you."

His eyes then met with Malfoy's, who had been lingering in the shadows but now stepped forward and looked at Ron with distain, maybe he had changed but that look hadn't and Ron had the decency to look slightly less confident in himself.

"And what about me?"

Before he could say anything, Draco muttered Expelliarmus but before the spell reached Ron, he deflected it and sent a crutiatus curse towards Draco, who put up a temporary shield just in time.

"When did you start to play dirty, Weasley? Was it when you realised you could never win out of sheer power and excellence? Was it when you realised that you had lost everything because you simply weren't good enough? Did you think being _bad _would help, because trust me, I've tried that, it doesn't stop anything hurting, it just stops you being able to tell anyone. No hard exterior can hide the hurt inside, and I can see it in you, okay, so maybe you're not as heroic as Potter, or as smart as Granger, but I thought that all of these years would at least teach you that you're part of it, or you were, before you decided to be the problem rather than the solution. You messed things up yourself and, however much I hate to say this, without you Voldemort wouldn't have been defeated, yet now you are here, determined to _be _him, just remember how he ended up. Was he on top, was he powerful, were the few moments of power really worth it? I've done being evil, I've learnt that trying to do good feels so much better. Yet you've done it the other way round? I don't understand, Weasley, and I don't think I ever will. Just remember, you can get out of this right now if you want to, just _give up_, admit that you were wrong and that you want to stop, are you willing, Weasley?"

In answer, Ron threw another crutiatus curse, this time at Snape, who let out a slight grunt of pain, then went limp.

"How can you not enjoy this anymore, Malfoy?"

Malfoy pointed his wand at Ron and before the other boy could lift his from the collapsed potions master, the spell had hit him.

"Expelliarmus."

The wand flew into his hand and he smirked slightly as Ron looked at his hand, and then to his wand. Before he could retaliate in any way, Harry threw the next spell at him.

"Petrificus totalus."

His eyes widened and he fell backwards, rendered completely motionless. Harry walked up slowly and stood over him, smirking slightly.

"Sorry Ronald, it was for your own good."


	23. Breathe In, Breathe Out

**A/N: Not many chapters left. I don't plan, I just go with it, so maybe another chapter after this, maybe two, it's difficult to know. So be sure to review, tell me what you like, what you don't like, what you do or don't want to happen, any feedback is welcome. Thanks to anyone who has reviewed/story alerted/favourited so far. It really does mean something. Imma stop being soppy now. So yeah, I know this chapter is proper short but it was so hard to write because I genuinely didn't want to. You'll see. But yeah. I'll update soon to make up for it? I've been going through a lot of shit in my life but I think I might have sorted it out so I should be updating much more often now. Sorry.**

**Breathe in, breathe out**

The ministry had taken the motionless Ron away to Azkaban and now Draco and Harry sat over Snape, waiting for him to awake. Harry refused to consider him being dead, after all of this he _had_ to be alive. Hermione needed him, he couldn't be _dead. _

His greasy hair, now matted with blood, stuck to his face partly and his eyes were closed, but peacefully, not in pain, and that was even more terrifying. One hand was clutching his wand in front of him while the other was inside his robes, holding something. Harry pulled at his black, dirty robes slightly so they fell sideways, revealing a piece of paper scrunched up tightly in his now weak hand. Harry didn't want to take it out right now because it felt like giving up, admitting that he was dead and unable to defend himself. He muttered a patronus and sent it to St Mungos, informing them of Snape's position and begging for them to come as quickly as possible. His eyes the met Draco's for a moment and they both know with that one look what the other was thinking; Hermione.

"There is no light without dark, but at least with light you can see what's coming."

Lucius muttered to himself, something Dumbledore had told him when he was younger, before he became a death eater, before any of this. It seemed relevant now for some reason. Here he was, trying to be good, for Snape's sake mostly, and she refused to be helped. He sighed as he reached her door, a tray of food in one hand, wondering whether she would scream at him or cry, but knowing that she wouldn't eat it whatever happened. Before he could turn the door handle, however, he heard a quiet knock at the door. He placed the food on the floor carefully and walked down the stairs in confusion, wondering how the wards had been broken down, because surely Potter couldn't be back. He took out his wand and held it up in preparation, even though it was nearly useless. He turned the cold door handle slowly, preparing himself for danger but curiosity winning him over.

Harry looked into the astonished face of Lucius but didn't really take it in, all he could think of was Hermione. Before Lucius could question him, Harry ran past Lucius and up the stairs to what he knew was Hermione's room. He had no idea what he was going to say, or how she would react. However much he hoped that she would at least have the comfort that Ron was out of her hair, even he knew that love didn't work like that.

Hermione sat up for the first time that day and looked beside her. The photo of Snape at her side made her turn away in exasperation. He was everywhere. She sighed and pushed the photo so it fell face down with a clatter. She couldn't live like this, she _wouldn't_ live like this, it was time to get up and face the world, because after all, she had nothing to lose and everything to gain. She didn't care about Ron any longer, this was all his fault and if he found her, God help him. She wouldn't be some Bella Swan, mourning the fact that her one and only love had gone away, even if it was obvious that he didn't even like her. She was determined to rebuild her life, one step at a time, but unfortunately the timing of her revelation was atrocious, because just as she had decided she wasn't going to sit and wait for him to come back, Harry flew through the door. Before she could even comprehend what was happening, she was in his arms and she relaxed against them. Then she remembered where he had been. She pulled back slightly and looked at him, trying to find out what had happened from his facial expression without asking him directly, because she had a feeling she wouldn't want to know the answer. This all seemed a bit too familiar, and she couldn't help but wonder if she would feel like this if Snape had come home and Harry hadn't.

Just as she finally plucked up the courage to ask, there was a quiet knocking from the door and, without waiting for a response, Lucius turned the handle and stepped into the room.

"There is an owl for you, Potter, from St. Mungos. You are to go there immediately."

He looked to Hermione for a moment, then back at Harry.

"And take her with you."


	24. Please Don't Say, It's Over Today

**A/N: No internet connection, still getting over my almost panic attack earlier (seriously, some people need to learn to answer their phones), thinking about that one guy (as per usual), and for some reason I'm like mm, fanfic. So here it is. Sorry if it's a bit sloppy. My heads all over the place right now. Mm, yeah, chapter title. What a song. And by the way, yes I was making a point in this chapter. You can JUST be friends with guys and just because they tell you you're gorgeous etc. it doesn't necessarily mean they like you like that. It annoys me that people don't understand. End rant. Please review : ) only a couple of chapters left.**

**Please don't say, it's over today **

She took his large hand into hers, tears falling down her face as she stared at his closed eyes, wishing they would open. She sat at his bedside in St Mungo's. They had to wait until he woke up to survey the damage but there was a possibility that he wouldn't and that's what terrified her. She thought of the last time she had seen him, he had told her she meant nothing to him. She wondered why she was still sitting here, waiting for him to wake up, if he didn't even like her. Surely she wasn't the first person he would want to see when he woke up, if he woke up, but she couldn't leave, she had to know he would be alright. She put a hand on his face, she could feel the stubble from where he hadn't shaved for a couple of weeks and smiled slightly. It made him look rugged despite his vulnerability right now. His mouth opened slightly although his eyes stayed closed and she jumped up, leaning over him, a tear falling from one of her eyes onto his cheek and sliding down into his black hair that wasn't as long as it used to be but it had grown significantly since she had last seen him. He took a shaky breath before whispering so quietly she had to lean closer to hear him and her brown hair slid from her shoulder onto his cheek.

"Don't cry."

She sniffed and let out a slight sob of relief before carefully embracing him. He lifted one arm slightly, although it hurt him to do so, and pulled her closer to him. The familiar smell of her hair put a smile on his face. She tried to pull back slightly as she heard the healer enter but his arm still held her to him. He brought up his other hand and brushed the tears from her eyes. He had something to say and he wasn't willing to let her go until he told her, not caring whatsoever what the healer thought.

"I lied. You mean everything to me."

And in that one moment, she forgot the weeks of pain, she forgot the horrible things he had said to her and the years of hating him, she forgot her fear of getting hurt again and she embraced him once again, less carefully this time. After a few moments she pulled back when she heard a slight gasp of pain and looked at him apologetically but he only smiled back at her.

"You mean everything to me too."

The healer coughed and Hermione looked back for a moment before turning back to him.

"I'll be back. I love you, Severus."

He smiled even wider at her, he looked so gorgeous when he smiled, then she left the room so the healer could check him.

Harry sat on a chair outside, a hand to his head, deep in thought. When Hermione came out of the door, he looked up at her questioningly, but he could tell from the smile on her face that everything was going to be alright.

"He's awake. The healer is just checking him."

Harry sighed in relief as she sat next to him then turned to ask her a question, not quite knowing how to phrase it. Eventually, he just said it.

"Do you love him, Hermione?"

He knew the answer but he also needed her to know that he knew so this was the easiest way. She paused for a moment, looking astonished, but it quickly faded away and she nodded slightly, worried about how he would react. She was no expecting the hug that he enveloped her in, or the words he spoke.

"I'm so glad you've found someone who's willing to do anything for you."

Her eyebrows knitted together.

"I thought you didn't like him."

He pulled back and looked her straight in the eyes.

"I never liked him, but I had respect for him. For all that he did in the war, and then all that he did for you with Ron, he really cares about you and you need that after all that you've been through. I hope that you're very happy together."

"Hey, hold on, it's not as if we're together, not yet at least. I don't even know if he feels the same, he probably doesn't, he's probably just trying to make me feel better, why would he even like me, he's amazing and smart and thoughtful and I'm just me."

Harry pulled her into a hug again and whispered into her ear.

"How could he not love you? You're gorgeous and smart and amazing. Don't underestimate yourself Hermione. That's your one and only downfall."

She smiled slightly against his shoulder and hugged him closer.

"Thanks Harry. And thanks for trying to save me, I don't think I ever really said that. You running after Ron in the first place, however stupid it was, was really sweet of you."

He shushed her, hating to remember that he had failed. They heard footsteps approaching them and pulled away from each other just in time to see Lucius walk straight past them and through the door to Snape's room, despite the protests of the healer running after him. He emerged a few minutes later with a slight smile playing on his lips but the aristocratic stance still not gone.

"He's going to be fine, and I've won."

Harry and Hermione looked confused and he smirked before elaborating.

"I promised myself I would get you and Severus together again, and I have."

Hermione went to contradict him but Harry looked at her warningly so she closed her mouth again and only smiled. Lucius nodded slightly towards the door.

"The healer is just finishing up if you want to go back in."

She nodded slightly and stood up from her seat, turning back to Harry to see him giving her an encouraging smile. She smiled back and brushed past Lucius on her way to Snape's room. He grabbed her arm and she turned slightly. He leant down over her slightly, threateningly.

"Don't you dare hurt him."

She let a small smile play on her lips.

"I won't."

He stared into her eyes for a few moments before nodding and letting her go. She opened the door cautiously before disappearing behind it.

Snape was still lying down but he looked much more awake than he had before. The healer was fussing with his pillow when she noticed his gaze and turned to Hermione.

"You're very lucky, one more curse and Mr Snape wouldn't be in such good condition. As it is, he needs to stay here for a couple of days to recuperate, but after that he can go home."

Hermione nodded slightly and then locked eyes with Snape. The healer took this as her queue to leave and shut the door quietly behind her, leaving them alone.

"Severus, I..."

He interrupted her.

"I don't know what we're doing here. But I want you to leave. Now."

She broke their eye contact and looked down at the floor, tears falling down her cheeks. Why was he doing this to her? All she could think was that Harry had been wrong, she wasn't gorgeous or smart or amazing. She simply wasn't good enough for him. She looked back at him for a moment, enough time for him to change his mind, but he had turned away from her. She wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Then you lied earlier, when you said I meant everything to you."

He didn't move.

"I said leave, Miss Granger, and don't come back."

She took another stab to the heart but refused to be beaten. She took a step towards him, then another.

"What is this about, Severus?"

He turned over again painfully.

"I told you, it's Professor Snape to you, and do you not get the meaning of _leave_?"

He finally looked at her and, seeing the genuine anger in his eyes, she took in the reality of what he was saying. Why would he lie? What would he gain from it? She nodded sadly, tears falling onto the plain white sheets of his bed, then turned away and ran from the room, not being able to bear being in his presence for any longer.

THERE WILL BE ANOTHER CHAPTER. Don't worry!


	25. In The End, It Doesn't Even Matter

**A/N: Penultimate chapter :'( Tell me what you think, how you want it to end, what you like, what you don't like, anything, cheer me up? : ) Sorry, there are probably so many typos in this chapter but I just couldn't proof read it, I can't deal with happy endings right now, so this won't be that good. But hey, I wrote it, dedication, eh? Thanks for sticking with me. I love you.**

**In the end, it doesn't even matter**

A solitary tear fell down her cheek. Compared to the last few days of sobbing, it meant nothing, but to her it meant everything. It was her giving up. At least when he was with Ron she could kid herself that he felt something for her, but now she knew that he didn't, he hadn't all along, and as well as making her feel stupid for ever believing he did, it hurt more than anything she had ever felt in her life because she had truly trusted him with her heart after it had been broken so many times already, this had been her last chance to be happy and now it was gone as quickly as it had come.

She swung her legs over the side of her bed at Grimmauld Place and put her head in her hands. She couldn't be here any longer, Lucius told her that Severus was coming back today and she couldn't be here when he did. She forced herself to stand up and began to shove everything that mattered to her into a small rucksack. She saw the picture of him on her bedside table out of the corner of her eye, his smile seeming more and more like a smirk. She picked it up and threw it at the mirror, which shattered along with the glass of the picture frame, but the picture stayed intact, floating to her feet unharmed. She looked down at it with disdain, then looked up at the door as she heard footsteps running up the stairs.

Snape heard a crash coming from the direction of her room and looked up towards it. Lucius saw the fear in his eyes and tried to grab his arm but he was already running. He had only just arrived back from St Mungos and they had told him to rest for a few weeks, but all that was forgotten when he thought of her in danger. His limbs screamed out in objection but he ignored them. When he finally reached her door he threw it open and took in what greeted him.

She saw him take in the mess of glass surrounding her and the photo at her feet, but she couldn't look at him any longer, not after what had happened. She turned away and reached for the last thing she wanted to put in her bag then zipped it up. She sighed and took a step forward but his low voice vibrated through the air towards her, stopping her in her path.

"Don't move."

She then heard a slight whisper and the glass that was surrounding her lifted and pieced back together on the mirror at the same time as the picture frame returned to her bedside table, picture and all. They stood there for a moment, neither saying anything but so many words being spoken through the silence. She took a deep breath, finally finding the courage to turn around and face him but changing her mind as she saw the look on his face. He was falling apart, torn between doing the right thing and doing what he _wanted _to. She pushed past him on her way out of the door but he grabbed her arm before she could escape.

"Hermione..."

She refused to turn around.

"Hermione, please."

She looked down at the floor, speaking through gritted teeth.

"You wanted me to leave, so I'm leaving."

He took a deep breath.

"Not like this. I... I was scared."

She finally turned around, so quickly that he dropped her arm.

"I'm scared too, after all that happened with Ron, I was terrified of how I felt. But then I told myself that it was alright, you would never hurt me. I guess I was wrong."

She tried to walk away again, but he caught her hand. She shook him off and turned her head slightly, giving him a sad smile.

"I can't do this right now. It hurts too damn much."

She took a few steps before he brought up the courage to speak.

"Hermione, wait."

She stopped for a moment, not knowing why she was doing it.

"I'm sorry. Something Lucius said scared me, and I know I shouldn't have let it but..."

"What did he say?"

Severus took a deep breath but knew he had to do this, whatever happened he needed her to know the truth.

"He told me he could see how much I meant to you, and that... I couldn't mess this up. I guess I didn't take his advice?"

She shook her head slightly.

"Why would _that _scare you?"

He deliberated about whether to tell her even though he knew deep inside that it was necessary.

"I'm not good at people relying on me. Like what happened with Lily, I mess things up, I always have done and it's hard to break a habit. I'm sorry, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you."

She turned again, forgiving him but not wanting to show that.

"Well, you did."

He took a step towards her and took her face into his hands, forcing her eyes to meet his.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I know you've been through a lot and this was... important to you. It's just hard for me to admit that. We can't just ignore the massive age gap..."

She interrupted him.

"You're the only person who's bothered by that. Look, if you're willing to try again, I'm willing to stop you messing it up."

He brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes and then stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. She shivered slightly at the electricity.

"I don't want to hurt you."

She shook her head.

"That's not a reason to give up. And hey, I'm a bit girl, I can handle it, so, one more try, yeah?"

He took a deep breath, then with a slight jerk of his head, agreed.

Lucius looked on from the shadows and smiled slightly. He had know he was right all along, he just needed to give it time. Draco stepped out from the doorway and stood next to his father. Lucius turned to him and sighed.

"What do you want?"

Draco took a deep breath before finally standing up to his father.

"I'm just here to tell you that I'm moving away. I want to train to be a healer and nothing you say is going to stop me. So, this is goodbye."

Lucius held back a smile, this was the day he had been waiting for, the day that his son would finally find his own path. He retained his aristocratic look though, he had brought Draco up in a world where his father was evil, and he wasn't willing to change that. It was what had toughened him up and Lucius wouldn't regret that. He held out a hand and his son shook it before walking back through the door to his room to pack and towards his new life.

Meanwhile, Snape and Hermione embraced by her doorway. He kissed her forehead as she ran her fingers through his hair and they both knew that despite all that was to come, they would be alright.


	26. Close Up Camera One

**A/N: This. Chapter. Was. Impossible. Just impossible. I don't even... Anyway, I hope you like it. Sorry if it seems a bit rushed, it took me long enough as it is. Last chapter. I hope you enjoyed the story, it was my first so hey, brownie points? definitely going to write another at some point but my life's a bit upside down right now, but hey, author alert if you like it? I will write something else. I swear. But anyway, here's the last chapter of lovely sympathy, thanks for sticking with me this far, reviews are (more than) welcome, I will be replying to them a lot more : ) Thank you. I love you.**

**Close up camera one, the hero sings in this scene**

Hermione sat in the back of Snape's classroom, pen in hand, diligently taking notes from the board.

She already knew how to make liquid luck off by heart, but when Snape could see she had nothing to do, he would force her to mark first year papers, which due to the immense amount of stupid spelling mistake, frustrated her. It didn't matter, she enjoyed just being in the same room as him, being able to look up and for him to be there. They had been together for a year. School had started again and she was observing his lessons so she could take over when the new school year started. Sometimes she helped out and sometimes she brought a book to read, she just liked being around Severus.

He was pretty lenient with her because he knew she was perfect for the job anyway with no training. She looked up, smiling at him, and it was all he could manage not to smile back. She looked so perfect when she smiled. Like an angel. No, better than an angel. Her eyes shone and her cheeks blushed a slight pink colour. She was everything he wanted. She was the reason he lived. He would do anything for her. He would never tell her any of this of course, he wasn't good with feelings let alone sharing them, but she knew. At least he thought she did.

Class ended quickly and the second years exited the classroom. Hermione stood quickly and put her things away but when she looked up she only saw his black cloak as he swept into his quarters. She followed him, opening the door slowly to find him sitting at his desk, head in his hands, a piece of paper in front of him. She tried to sneak up on him and take the letter but he heard her coming and in one swift movement, threw it into the fire. He then looked up and tried to compose himself before standing up and straightening his robes.

"Miss Granger, I think you should leave. It's over. I will be gone by ten o'clock tonight. You can have my quarters. Teaching starts tomorrow, the schedule is in my drawer. Goodbye."

He tried to turn away but she grabbed his arm before he could get very far. He turned around and his look scared her. His eyes were so dark and emotionless. She hadn't see him look like this in so long.

"No."

He tilted his head slightly.

"Why? You're better off without me."

"Because I'm willing to give it all up, throw everything I have away and rebuild myself based on what you want from me. And you don't give a fuck. But do whatever you fucking want, just don't let this end because you're scared of losing. You can be angry, upset, annoyed. You can hate me for what I am, what I've done, what I stand for. But you cannot hate me for what I'm doing to you."

"I don't deserve you."

"You do. Look, you can hate me all you want, just don't hate yourself. Now what's come over you? What did the letter say?"

He took a deep breath and his look finally softened. He put both his arms around her waist and his chin on her head.

"It's Ron."

He felt her tense slightly at the mention of his name.

"He's escaped from Azkaban."

When he pulled back he saw the tears in her eyes. He wiped them away with one hand.

"Then surely we're better together, stronger? I can't do this without you, I never could."

He held back the urge to cry himself, she looked so resolute.

"He doesn't want you... he wants me."

She recoiled slightly, but then regained her resolution quicker than he thought possible.

"You think he'll give up there? Look, Severus, you're not strong enough to fight this alone."

He didn't want to say what he said next.

"I know. I'm not planning to fight."

He watched her eyes as she slowly understood the meaning of this then suddenly felt her hands clutching at his robes.

"Severus, you know I can't live without you. Please. You can't do this. _Please._"

Just as he was opening his mouth to contradict her, the door swung open.

"Severus, you and I both know you can't do this. Are you going to tell her or am I?"

Hermione looked from Minerva to Severus and eventually settled on Minerva as Severus did not look like he was about to budge. Minerva looked quickly at Severus before turning back to Hermione.

"You and Severus... are... soul mates."

Severus saw Hermione's mouth fall open before she turned back to him, searching his eyes for an acknowledgement.

"You knew?"

He nodded slightly and their eyes met for a few moments.

After an awkward silence, Minerva spoke.

"We have the Ron situation handled. He was found a few metres from Azkaban, dead. It appears the other escapee was not too fond of him."

Severus turned his head quickly and spoke just as fast.

"And that was?"

"Blaise. A friend of Draco's. The ministry is looking for him, but we do not expect he will be found any time soon. Still, Ron is gone."

Hermione sighed with relief and buried her head in Severus' chest and he wrapped his arms around her before nodding at Minerva, signifying she could leave.

She returned to her office, a smile on her face. As she entered the room, Dumbledore's voice echoed throughout.

"I told you so."


End file.
